I dont count the day before yesterday because I woke up drunk...so the way I see it it's day two.
I'm feeling pretty good...fortunate that I've decided to face reality and salvage the incredible life that I have. I've even been "shudders* praying every time my mind starts to obsess about booze. Not sure if it's helping but I gues it cant hurt.
I'm dreading the unpleasantness that I know is coming. The moodiness, the inner turmoil and struggle, the moments of weakness and compulsion, the boredom. Oh well, I'm taking kick boxing so at least I have stuff to hit that wont land me in jail. I feel sorry for my sparring partner.
Awesome, Lucky. Just for today, eh? And after you get thru the things you dread, count 'em. Then count the things you have to look forward to. Like, clean shorts. Calm tummy. Fresh air that you can actually notice. Promise, the good things are way way more numerous than the dread things. And praying doesn't hurt a bit....A big big hug to you, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
your higher power walks with u in the moment, try very hard to stay focused on the moment. all u need to do is what is right in front of u, wash the dishes , take a shower, do laundry, eat...ect. first things first.....easy does it and one day at a time are much more than simple platitudes, trust me we all learn this, the only way out is through the steps. it works if you work it. oh yeah, plus the disease of alcholism is fatal if we dont work a program....lol
There is a saying in AA that is 'don't live in the wreckage of the future'. Another one goes something like,,, I dealt with a lot of things in my future that never happened. We trust our Higher Power that whatever happends we will get the grace to get through it then. My own present is a whole lot better in a lot of ways, than I had predicted for myself,, but I have to say that it is because of things that I couldn't imagine way back as solutions to situations. I'm so grateful to my Higher Power and to the 12 Step programs, that this is so,,, that I let God have control, and learned how to cooperate with this Higher Power that is loving and merciful, strong and wise. We can actually wreck our future by acting in ways that sabotage it.
Here's a story:
There was a man who got a flat tire on a country road. He remembered passing a house a ways back and decided to walk back and try to borrow a jack. He started walking and thinking, "Maybe no one will be home when I get there." He walked a bit further, and thought, "Maybe someone will be home but they won't let me borrow a jack." As he walked on he kept thinking, "Maybe someone will be home, but when I knock on the door they might open it and be rude." As he got closer he thought, "Maybe when I knock on the door some big guy will answer and come out and hit me". He got to the door. He knocked. Someone opened the door. Our man said, "F U! I didn't want your old jack anyway!" And he turned around and stomped away.
love in recovery,
amanda
-- Edited by amanda2u2 at 09:32, 2007-01-14
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
I am so with you on the boredom...it's pretty much my greatest fear...and even though I can see my counsellors point that when I'm steaming I'm probably not terribly exciting either it doesn't always help.
Plus I do love dancing and where else do you get to do that except clubs??
going out last night sober was pretty flat I must admit...
Had a thought this morning that maybe I've liked clubbing/pubbing all these years so much because by midnight I've been off my chops. Guess I need a new hobbie...something that gives me the adrenalin and sense of walkin on the wild side...
