I know I'm not supposed to make big changes in the first year... my sponsor said it would be ok if I agree to do it a certain way... so... my husband and I are separating... and I had to agree that I'd talk to him a couple of times a week, hang out with him some, maybe date, and don't make anything final for awhile, because maybe my feelings will change. My husband and I talked everything over last night, he knows how I'm feeling, he doesn't know yet that I've already made the decision to leave... we see my counselor tomorrow, maybe it will come up then... maybe I'll wait until after the holidays, I don't know. I'm already gone, emotionally, in my heart. And while I admit my feelings may change, I don't see it happening. I've been feeling this way for way too long, not happy, I don't love him anymore... and he hurt me in a pretty big way a couple of times this year, that's going to always make me question him. I had to think a lot about this... I was trying to find an escape... in another guy... and then I realized I wouldn't run off to be with this other guy, that I'm not leaving because I love someone else, I'm leaving because I don't love my husband... as far as the other guy goes, he won't date me until I have a year sober, and neither of us is sure about our feelings for each other, so we've got 8 months until I get my year to figure it out, or longer if need be, neither of us is wanting to rush into anything. And I agree with my counselor that I'd need "recovery time" from my marriage before I could pursue anything with anyone else... As much as I hate to make this decision, because I know it hurts my husband... I feel better in a way... I'm finally being honest with myself and with him and doing what needs to be done.