Hi everyone, I'm new to this site, and new to trying to stay sober. I mean REALLY trying. I've attended AA meetings in the past, of course I had a few drinks before I went, just to loosen up enough to share, or so I reasoned. Needless to say, the meetings were not really for me. I went to get people off my back, to show an "effort".
I've been sober a week now, and tonight I feel like rewarding myself, how else, but with a few drinks. Does this insane way of thinking ever end?
I feel like I'm in round 1 of an incredible fight. My opponent has beaten me many, many times in the past, and I don't know how to make it to round 2, much less win the fight.
Congratulations on one week!!! That really is great.
When I first stopped drinking almost every thought that I had centred around alcohol. And, because I'm an alcoholic, it was always that little demon on my shoulder trying to persuade me to pick up a drink again.
But, I haven't picked up a drink for one day at a time. And, you don't need to either. Just hang in there and it really will get so much better. The thought of having a drink hardly ever passes through my mind now. It will be exactly the same for you, too.
Just keep on going to meetings and working the program to the best that you can. You are not on your own and it was important to me to realise that I wasn't alone either. We are all staying sober just for one day at a time.
Please keep posting and letting us know how it is going for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I know this is going to sound strange, but the key to victory over alcohol is to surrender, give up the fight, "I can't do this anymore, Help Me" It's a contradiction but true once we give up the struggle and ask for help we get relief. I always thought that I had as much will power as anyone walking the face of the earth, I could quit for a week a month even 3 1/2 years once, but I didn't have any recovery. I was like Atlas holding up the weight of the world and I was doomed to fail and I did, then in a short time things were worse then ever because my dis-ease had progressed even during the time I wasn't drinking. But when I surrendered and asked for help the burden was lifted from me. We have a saying in AA, I can't but We can. Hope this makes sense, it's a paradox no doubt. Good luck. Bob.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
Yeah, so many paradoxes! but it's true. To win this we have to surrender. Insttead of taking the bull by the horns, we have to let go. We have to trust God.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Thank you all for the encouragement! When I posted this, 3 hours ago, I was looking forward to a long drive home with a number of places I could stop and 'fill up' on the way. I kept saying over and over "your will not mine, your will not mine" I couldn't focus on work because I could already taste it, smell it, feel it warming my belly. I was on the verge of tears, because I just knew I would cave.
Then my HP answered through an IM from another AA member. He referred me to some online meetings I could attend anytime and even got a laugh out of me when he said "nothing to be afraid of it's just a bunch of us drunks talking to each other. And remember, you can't get drunk if you don't take that first drink."
He said "take me with you on the way home" and I did. Thank you Vinnie!
I am constantly amazed at the support this group of "drunks" has given to me.
I made it home without 'filling up'. I made it through another day!
I am so happy for you. I think you're finding out what a true brother/sisterhood this group of drunks really is. We understand the addiction. More important, we understand the fight against the addiction to a greater degree than anyone who has not been through it. And we are all willing to go to great lengths to help another addict who truly wants sobriety. Help and support is out there. Reach out and you will be aided by many hands. Good fortune...Tim
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"We posess the eyes through which the universe gazes with wonder upon its own majesty."
