This is the worst I've felt in a long time. Part of me just wants to fire my sponsor, say f AA, and go it alone.
These past two nights I've just layed in bed crying. I feel so horrible. I don't really know what's causing it either. I called my psych doctor yesterday and tried to set an appointment to no avail. I'll have to wait to next week and see how things go until then.
All I know right now is that I will not drink today. This too shall pass......but definitely not in my time.
Um, when I came to the program, went through hell. Just lost my mom and left my ex husband and almost lost my children. Had so many walls up, that I thought I wasn't gonna make it, went to a meeting one nite and well lets just say that I needed to leave the meeting do to the fact that all that loss and struggles I had in me came out.
Remember, what a good person said. Let it out, time to peel the onions away, this past year I've watch my son go through his speel and lost my dad after havin one year of contact with him.
My dad i met up with him last year, having no contact with him for 20 years. Kept me close to him before he pasted on in July. Today I'm greatful that I had that chance to reconcil with him, yes it's that time of year and well, I'm staying close to my program and to those who can help and understand.
Just take one day at a time, and let it take it's course. It does evenually work it's way through, your in the right place
I'm so truly sorry that you are struggling right now. Please don't try to go it alone. I did just that and it was the worst eighteen months of my life. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.
For me, this time of the year is a pretty depressing and lonely time. Perhaps, if I had children it would seem more 'magical'. But, it just seems to be a time of stress and worry. Also, for me, it's a time to look back and reflect on things that I've done and said in the past. Then, another layer seems to be peeled away and the hurt comes back to the surface. I know that it's part of the healing process, but it still hurts.
This will pass, Justin. It really will. And, when this is over, you will feel a much stronger person. That has happened to me and I'm so glad that I didn't pick up again. Just keep hanging in one day at a time.
Take good care of yourself,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Sometimes life is a b****. It's okay to cry. I agree that what sometimes happens is that all the stuff we have kept buried by drinking comes up when we stop drinking. It can be pretty horrible. We don't know how to cope because drinking was our one and only coping skill. Now we need to learn other ways to cope with things. We need to learn to really 'work through' things. Sometimes the only way out is through.
With my PTSD, isolating only makes it worse. I can hide from everything and everyone,, but I can't hide from the memories. The memories and feelings actually get stronger if I'm sitting in the dark alone. Sometimes I need to just go for a walk.
Easy does it. Let go and let God.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Man that brings me back to my first year of sobriety, I nearly jumped off a bridge before I decided to lose one sponcer and get another, now I feel good (mostly)
Be kind and loving to yourself and do what it says on page 86. best of all get to a meeting and tell them how u feel.
you do not have to be alone anymore. we all have felt as you do.
