i love my dad, though he's been addicted since before i was born. they say dont try to 12 step family, but i tried anyway. now finally his battered body has had enough and he's on his way out. i have mixed emotions because it has been a love hate thing. he's a tough old guy, and lived a hard life. a logger in his youth and done time ect. yet has always had the heart of a poet. i prayed hard that wouldn't die some kind of skid row death, and got it. he's in a safe place and not alone, my sisters and brother are there for him. i'm feeling real sad cause i can't be there right now. 2 of my sisters are still active in their addiction and the chaos is unbelievable, he hasn't drank for sometime but has switched to pills and yikes he takes a lot. im so grateful i stumbled into this program when i did. dont know how i got so lucky. thank you guys and thanks to my higher power, love ya.
Mine went through a war...built up a small farm into a large operation...and did his best to raise six kids...we never did without, and we never starved..
But there were many binges...where, he just disappeared...
And being the oldest...I was milking 32 cows, at the age of 9...and staying home from school..many days..just so the work would get done...
Yet..it was a 2 way street.
Over the next few years..
I drank all his booze when he was gone...took vehicles on joyrides..and laid guilt trips on him, for money..at every opportunity...
He passed away...14 years ago...We never did get along...too much alike..I guess
I had the opportunity..of sitting at a kitchen table..3 months before he died..and telling him I was sorry for all my shit...and that I loved him..
He comunicated the same...And that was all that had to be said..
I held on to a lot of resentments..that had to do with verbal and physical abuse...
Alanon and AA helped me to understand..that he did the best..with what he had...and forgiveness...was the end result...
Life is short....
You have a good day...
__________________
"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
thanks phil, im glad i got the program to get through this stuff, and grateful i had the opportunity to tell my dad i loved him and that i knew he did the best he could. that "willing to forgive" got me a long way. the understanding the nature of the disease got me the rest. and yeah the pot calling the kettle black if i pointed at him. we are so much the same. but for the grace ect. you have a good day too.
