How often do we get caught up in life's events, the days just roll on by, and we forget how rich and beautiful our lives are today? And I find it is in the small events, the little moments, that my memory is jolted. Today was like most days for me. Yknow, get up, get your coffee or tea, visit the loo, and check your emails. First, my sponsor from California calls. Nice talk, she's been my sponsor for the whole twenty three years, is seventy five now, and every time I hear from her I feel the blessing. There was finally a touch of sunshine out there before our next storm pours in. My window is open slightly, and I can hear the salmon's tails as they plunge up the stream to spawn. The phone rings, and it's my eldest, just calling to say hi. I have company for the afternoon, and the next thing I know, I'm getting supper ready for the oven. I managed to get off some mandatory paperwork for my daughter's worker, so that we can find a way to get Sunny into the system up here where we can be closer. All this daily stuff in my head, and I felt this heart twinge.

I remembered sitting in the treatment center, miles and miles away from home and my family. I didn't know if I was going to make it, I was so convinced I was one of the constitutionally incapable. Would I have to stay in a structured environment forever if I wanted to be sober? I could hear kids outside somewhere, dogs barking, the whole neighborhood thing. And at that time, I wondered, will my life ever ever be normal? Will I ever be "just" a wife and mother again, in a nice home, food to eat, all the accoutrements of normalacy? At the time, I truly believed that it could never happen and worse yet, that I didn't deserve those things anyway. After all, I'd tossed them aside before. Why should this time be any different.

Yet here I am today, only by the grace of my Higher Power and the program and people of AA. Now I can hear my grandkids play, pick up a phone and talk to my children. My parents look forward to my calls now, and arent afraid to pick up the phone. I can prepare a meal in my kitchen, and I'm not stumbling around burning things, or forgetting them while I down the drink in my hand. I have some good friends and folks who love me. And, now when I hear a dog barking, it's my own dog. No longer the aching and melancholy for things beyond my grasp. Today, I have a life. Today I have freedom. Today I can make choices that are not based on weird agendas. Today is so good, even with little irritants, compared to the yesterdays of my drinking and using. Not because I did anything special to deserve it, but only because my HP and the people of AA kept their hands out to touch me even when I couldnt see them thru the blur. Just how damned cool is that?   Wren