My name is Debbie H. and I am a recovering alcoholic/addict/compulsive gambler. A while back, last week sometime, I "stumbled" on this site. I was struggling with myself in the respect that I wanted to go back to AA meetings on a regular basis, yet I felt unwilling to accept that my home group had taken on a different direction in group dynamics. One of the reasons I stopped going to this group was because of some of the actions and behaviors that were exhibited toward me in the group. I came here and vented my dilema and was given very sound and good suggestions, feedback from Jo and Phil. I still haven't gotten to a meeting.....lol. However, I now have taken the time to "inventory" myself and talk with others in recovery, getting their thoughts and suggestions. In the final analysis, I realize that it is my choice as to whether I go to meetings or not. I still would like to return to my "home group" and I intend on doing that soon. However, in taking a look at myself, I realized that my "home group" is not the group that I want to attend primarily. I live in an area that is rich and plentiful with AA meetings. I can choose to go to any meeting that I want to choose to go to.
So, this is how recovery works for me. I no longer have to run off....half-cocked...making decisions on a whim. I can ask for help. I can ask what others do in the same situation. I can then weigh what works for me and incorporate others feedback and suggestions into my recovery, if it fits. I do not try and fool myself into thinking that I am "beyond" my addictions and don't need meetings. I NEED MEETINGS. I am continually reminding myself, that no matter how long I have been in AA and recovery, that I am only one drink....one pill....one bet away from disaster. For me to even THINK I can drink, drug, or gamble is as insane as it gets for me today.
I came here looking for answers to a specific challenge in my life.......and guess what? I found a plethora of good people wanting recovery and wanting to help others. How wonderful is that? This is how I have found my recovery to work since my first AA meeting. I just wanted to learn how to drink "socially" back then. I was 23 years old and wasn't ready to accept that I could NEVER drink again. Today, I know that I will not drink for TODAY. I came here looking for a "specific" answer to my dilema and found a site I can come to read, post, and learn from in my daily life.
Thank you for allowing me to join your "family" of recovering people. Thank you for all of your concerted efforts to keep this board going so that others may benefit from the wisdom of your own recovery. Life is good folks!
I stumbled on to this board a few months ago and I'm so truly thrilled that I now have it as part of my recovery. I do make the time to pop by a few times each day and I always get so much out of what is said here. There are some wonderful people on this board who have been very supportive of me in the past.
For me, MIP adds to the quality of my sobriety along with face-to-face meetings. And yes, Debbie, life is good, isn't it? I'm very fortunate to have found this recovering family.
Take care and have a great day,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
