My name is Tina and I would like to share my story.
I changed my path in life by walking into my first AA meeting on March 21, 2000. I started my change and I learned things about myself that I never knew existed. I started smiling more, and I enjoyed wakeing up at 6am, well I wasn't moaning and fussing as much! I learned to love myself and the people around me. I had a new life in AA, at my church and volunteering to feed the homeless. I started thinking about going back to college too. Almost 5 years of sobriety and then BOOM.....I took a sip of Amstel Light and I disappeared from myself and the life I knew. I still remember how that first sip tasted. It was the open door to struggle, self hate, laziness, anger,and I can go on and on...we all know. That first taste was a test. A test that I can control what was taking place. I can now be a part of society again I was telling myself...Well, I honeslty know that that wasn't me telling me that,,,it's the other thing that tells you that you are no good...or it tells you that you can drink again and you don't have a problem...the voice that tells you that everyone drinks like that and it's ok....but later that voice tells you after you have been defeated and ya know that you can't drink like others, that voice takes back what they said earlier and is now telling you that you can't get out of the mess you got yourself in...that you are worthless and there is no way out. Many times that evilness breathed on me telling me these things when I woke up with a hangover. I believed him. A year of struggle is now lost. A year of hangovers is now gone though. I am very upset with myself that I believed the voices but I am stronger that I have stopped it and am now gaining what I have lost. I went back to church and I went this time wanting to. I called the church I used to volunteer for to get myself back into the groove I once knew and loved. I went to two AA meetings and felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. It was the evil living in me that was removed after I asked God to forgive me as I forgave myself. I am so excited to get back to me. I am greatful for the years I had sober because I learned alot about myself and I am picking up the pieces.....and moving foward.
sorry if there is a similiar message from me from earlier...I typed all this out before but I don't think it went through.
My name is Carol and I'm an alcoholic. Welcome to MIP and thank you so much for your share.
I could really relate to so much that you shared with us. I had eight wonderful weeks with AA and then went back to drinking. My relapse lasted for eighteen months. I would never wish those months on anybody – it was a living hell for me and for my boyfriend.
But, now, my life is so very different to how it was one year ago and I have so much to be grateful for. I am part of a wonderful fellowship and have so many good and true friends. I have learnt from my mistakes and they are helping to make me stronger.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
The things you've learned are not lost, they were just forgotten for a bit.....I've been there, too..... I'm so grateful that you made your way back...Keep hanging on.
Much love.
Jennifer, Alcoholic
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Welcome to the board, Tina, and welcome home to AA. Glad you found your way back. Been there, done that, and didn't think I'd make it home again.....thank the gods I did. Good to hear from you, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
