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Post Info TOPIC: Moving Through Denial...


MIP Old Timer

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Moving Through Denial...
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Denial


Denial is fertile breeding ground for the behaviors we call codependent: controlling, focusing on others, and neglecting ourselves. Illness and compulsive or addictive behaviors can emerge during denial.


Denial can be confusing because it resembles sleeping. We're not really aware we're doing it until we're done doing it. Forcing ourselves - or anyone else - to face the truth usually doesn't help. We won't face the facts until we are ready. Neither, it seems, will anyone else. We may admit to the truth for a moment, but we won't let ourselves know what we know until we feel safe, secure, and prepared enough to deal and cope with it.


Talking to friends who know, love, support, encourage, and affirm us helps.


Being gentle, loving, and affirming with ourselves helps. Asking ourselves, and our Higher Power, to guide us into and through change helps.


The first step toward acceptance is denial. The first step toward moving through denial is accepting that we may be in denial, and then gently allowing ourselves to move through.



__________________
"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.


MIP Old Timer

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Posts: 2063
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Denial Ain't a River in Egypt.

Denial is the PRIMARY psychological symptom of addiction. It is an automatic and unconscious component of addictions.  Addicts are often the last to recognize their disease, pursuing their addictions into the gates of insanity, the collapse of health and ultimately death. Sadly, many addicts continue to act out on their addictions while their world collapses around them - blaming everything but the addiction for their problems. 


Denial is one of the reasons that recovery from addictions is seldom effective if the chemically dependent person is forced into treatment. You cannot work on a problem unless you accept that it exists. 


Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous deals with working through our denial, allowing us to accept our powerlessness over addictions and the chaos and unmanagability they bring into our lives.  (This is just one of the curious and beautiful things about recovery - in acknowledging powerlessness the addict is empowered to lead a healthy life.)  


Active alcoholism and addiction are characterized by a struggle to control use. Addicts resent the suggestion they are powerless until things get so bad they are forced to face their addiction. Sadly, some alcoholic / addicts never break through their denial, and continue use to the point of insanity and death.


There are many subtypes of denial, including projection, ("I don't have a problem - you have a problem.") rationalization, ("I drink because of my crummy job / life / wife /parents etc.") intellectualization, (being too much "in your head" about your problems) minimizing, (sure I drink a few beers each day, but it's not a problem") suppression, (forcing down memories of our using behavior and consequences of use) withdrawing, (leaving relationships, jobs, etc. rather than face our problems.) geographic escapes (my life is unmanagable - but it'll get better if I move to another place.)



__________________
"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
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