Talking to a good friend last night who has returned to drinking after five years without a drunk.My heart went out to him sweating,shaking and ashamed and humilated.I could relate to how he was feeling having had several benders before i truly was done.I tried to get him to focus on what he didnt do and what he could change this time round,Same story as mine really,no sponsor no meetings,no services and no steps.Fast cars and women had failed to keep him sober!!!!!.He said that he got to a feeling and drunk knowing full well that he would end up in hospital,jail or clinic.He just couldnt cope with the feelings and emotions with an issue and felt no other option than shut the head down.
He asked me how the steps stop me picking up a drink.I had to think for a while because i focused on drinking but for me its not just about drinking,its about life and ive found a way to cope with it for 24hrs using god and the steps.Being unable to cope with life without a drink took me back to a drink,in the steps ive found a new way to approach life and to deal with it,now i understand "a program for living"!!To sum up i guess the best way to describe it is i have grown a new skin or just grown up. I Pray today that i can continue my growth and cope with intense feelings or emotions and with the help of god to manage this sometimes lunatic head of mine.I also pray for my friend who is eight days today and looking better....the fog is lifting...
Serendipity, Shaun. I just got off the phone with my middle son, Sean also (just dif. spelling.) He has two friends that just recently went back out. He is being plagued with thoughts of using again. This frightens me deeply. But he's going to alot of meetings, he's staying busy, and thankfully, he's talking to me about it. His parting words to me were something like "If I get up in the morning, and I check out how I'm 'doing', I can pray and get on with my day". And that's when I realized that all I could say is "I love you and I"m here for you, Baby". His journey will unfold as he chooses it to, but he recognises that he must keep giving his life to his Higher Power. At these times, I do the same thing----I give my son to my Higher Power, and then can rest in the knowledge that everything that can be done, will be. Maybe not to my specifications (imagine! Ms. Control Freak here). But it will be done regardless of my worries.
And my eldest, in court today, finally got full custody of his daughter. That is the major blessing for me this month. Her mother is strung out, and all of us have been under incredible stress this month or so past, with the children all in foster care. It only happened because I stopped meddling, stood back, turned it over, didn't drink, and prayed prayed prayed....My HP is good to me...love chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
I was recently asked by a non-alcoholic friend how the steps can keep me sober. I said something along the lines of I now have a new approach and a new way of thinking that will help to keep me away from that first drink. But, it was good for me to be able to talk about our wonderful program of recovery.
Thanks for a super post and I'm keeping your friend in my prayers.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
