"There is no room for God in him who is full of himself."
-- Hasidic saying
On the spiritual path, we must be diligent to discriminate whether we are acting from ego or from soul. If ego is in charge, what we do is self-referencing. At the deepest levels, we are motivated by our own self-interest. We’re looking out for ourselves more than for others.
Although soul works through individuals, its focus is on the needs of others and on service to humanity.
“Do not feed your ego and your problems, with your attention. ...Slowly, surely, the ego will lose weight, until one fine day it will be nothing but a thin ghost of its former self. You will be able to see right through it, to the divine presence that shines in each of us.”
-- Eknath Easwaran
"Why aren't you happy? It's because ninety-nine percent of everything you do, and think, and say, is for yourself -- and there isn't one."
-- Wu Wei Wu
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
I've been working very hard at finding balance between putting myself second to others. I find I'm at a point that I have to put myself first right now because I need it. As with many people in recovery programs, a great deal of truama has taken place and we were taught that our feelings didn't count and that we didn't count. At least that was the messages I got. Now, that I am working at finding balance, I have to put my dysfunctional family second otherwise in my fragile state, I get pulled right back into the crap and end up acting toxic and thinking toxic.
I just wonder where the balance is between taking care of me, and putting others first. Right now the more people tell me that I have to put some else first, the more I will walk away becuase for 42 years everyone came first. I need help in drawing a healthy boundry between my and those who taught me that being sick was the norm. I know that I have to watch my ego....I really KNOW THAT, however, I just wish God could give me a manual and tell me when its okay to walk away and okay to look after me first. Thanks for the post and letting me share. I enjoy reading the posts you have. They remind me of the spiritual path that we are on.
have a good one.........Jo-Anne
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I granted myself the gift of sobriety and found my spirit.
Sweetheart, putting your sobriety and yourself first in regaining your life is not the same thing as ego. Everything that is posted here? Only take what you need. Not all of it is ever applicable to everybody. If I spend eighty dollars on cloths for a hot date, rather than put food in my fridge for the kids? That's putting ego first. If I get a babysitter and go to a meeting? That's putting myself and sobriety first. Ego travels over others in selfishness. You know that when you're taking care of yourself like you're doing, you absolutely must come first. That isn't ego, that's survival. Self-preservation, self-care, isn't self-absorbtion. Make sense? Like I said, things posted here are only opinions or ways of looking at things. Phil would say "like a**h***s, everyone has them." (sorry Phil, gave ya away. Called payback for the rough morning).
You keep on keepin' on, getting thru the things you need to do to stay healthy. In the long run, every thing and body around you benefits--but YOU first. Love, Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
I find it so hard because I have long defined myself by what my family told me I was. When I put my foot down about something or say I can't take the toxic behaviors anymore, I'm told to go and see my psychiatrist. So I get so confused at what and who needs to go first. But your explanation was very clear. The other day I fed my ego by doing something to make me feel better and spent $60.00 on gambling instead of buy food for the week. I was trying to fill an empty hole. So my lesson is to take care of me in all ways instead of feed the ego to try and feel better. Now I am getting the difference.
I can see how my ego would and does so easily need feeding and can cause me great greif. I can see that trying to fill the hole with anything but the love of my higher power is ego based. That this love has to come from me and people who support me. Thanks again. I have something concrete to work with and can use this to see the difference in my actions. There is a huge difference in taking care of myself and spirit in a healthy way and feeding my ego and putting myself first that causes harm and fear. So simple and old I'm sure, but new to me.........I love these moments.
I feel so much better because I can see the difference clearly now. A wonderful ah huh moment.
Take care,
JoAnne
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I granted myself the gift of sobriety and found my spirit.
Yeah, you just keep on stirring Buster. I'm gettin' on my cloak as we speak, gonna go out there and send you some icky rainforest fungus...you'll know it when it gets there, LOL.
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Turned him into a little grey kitty so he'd stay out of my way while I cooked up my spell for your fungus. And if he doesn't behave, I just may turn him into the fungus and send 'em to YOU.(well, I'll ask him if he minds, first. Even I have my limits, LOL) Go to bed now, Bub, you got buttons to push tomorrow.
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
