so i have been doing lots of work on my "issues" for the last couple of years, not such a victim anymore. cut out the people who were abusive (family mostly) . lots of nasty surprises with people i thought were friends in the program, which i have to say resulted in a lot of growth spiritual and just plain growing up. it's this middle place now where the old is out and the new is coming in. its a little on the empty side, and today i feel lonely. thats it, just needed to vent a bit, thanks.
We all have days like this. People are human, they disappoint us sometimes. I try not to place expectations on folks, and think I"m doing a good job until they do something contrary, and I find that deep down, yeah, I expected them to be or act a certain way. It happens less and less as time rolls around. Don't let this stuff block you from opening up to new friends, tho. For every person that has hurt you, there are ten more to replace that person. Sorry for the emptiness that leaves you with tho. Remember, you may feel alone, but you never really are. I take times like this to make a more intense connection with my Higher Power as I understand Him/Her. The loneliness passes, just like so much in our lives do. Make room for more friends, reach a hand out to help those still hurting, and for me, that helps that vacuum fill up and disappear real quick. hugs, Wren
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Sorry you are feeling sad, it is really desvastating when we face the fact that who we thought was our friend, turns out not to be our friend at all. I think we all have been through that, and if we just don't drink, no matter what, the pain passes.
One of the most incredible things happen in Recovery, when we work on and develop a Relationship with our Higher Power, we discover, that it is there, that relationship that cannot be undone by anyone, and the awareness, that yes, people abandon us, for whatever reason, and it does hurt, but we take that Pain to our Higher Power, and see that on this Spiritual Jouney that we are on, it is all really ok. We have our Higher Power, and an awareness that no matter what, this Higher Power WILL Never Ever ABANDON US. And that is the comfort I seek, and it makes it all ok.
Much of life is a Solo Journey, really, and we can be so grateful for the times when we have Love abundently in our lives with other people, but it is the awareness of a Loving God in my Life that will always be more important to me than a loving relationship, God puts people in our lives, then they are gone, some die, we grieve their Loss, and we carry on, simple when you look at it from that Prospective.
Many times people have said to me, you are so strong, and such a clear Survivor, I dissagree with that completely, we carry on, for that is our only option, and with a Loving God in our Lives that can restore a Love of Life, with no contingencies to it. Just put Gratitude for being alive always on the Top of my Gratitude List.
So I hope that this Sadness leaves you shortly, and is replaced with some loving people that will open up their hearts to you. Count me in!!!!
yes, thanks for the reminder about the higher power being what is always dependable.not all feelings are fun and everything changes except "god" thanks you guys, luv ya
I can so associate with the feeling of being lonely. As I am working through the steps I am starting to see people differently and sometimes that hurts. But, the good thing, for me, is that I have my meetings and I have this wonderful forum.
You are not alone in how you are feeling. Please know that.
Take the greatest care of yourself,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
