I've had a really rough day... just something I'm dealing with... I feel drained, about to go to bed and pass out. I really feel like I'm making some progress though... I'm learning how to get through this without drinking/other bad things... haven't even had a thought of it today even though today sucked.
I had a really rough evening too, Lisa. But like you, I didn't get all emotional and think about drinking at all. That's the miracle of the 12 Steps. Freedom from that old coping skill that serves no real purpose, other than more heartache and pain. Life is crazy enough on it's own to not add alcohol to the mix.
As long as I wake up sober for another day, there is a good chance it will get better.
But, how wonderful to think that you haven't had a thought about drinking. Isn't it amazing how well we can all do with the help of other alcoholics? Well done on all that you are doing. It really will start to get better.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
emailed my counselor right before I got in bed last night, managed to get in with him today, he called a little while ago. Monday counseling pulled me right out of the depression, made me feel so much better. I'm hoping it does today. Maybe I'm just needing it twice a week while I'm dealing with all this... wouldn't hurt. But we've been doing it once a week unless I call or email saying I need to get in sooner, this is the first time I've had to see him again in less than a week. My mind's trying to process too much right now, too many memories of my past, some new memories that I'm trying to cope with.
I'm kinda pushing it sometimes, having these vague memories and I'm pushing trying to make it clearer. I talked to my sponsor about this yesterday and she reminded me about the onion peeling as I get sober, peeling off layers I didn't deal with while I was drinking, and said "If you try to peel your onion yourself, you're going to cry". I guess she's right, I shouldn't push it, that could only hurt me in the long run. I'm trying to back off a little, but my mind's still working hard to process everything. Hopefully talking it out today will help.
