i dont know if i can stay sober or not, i am not going to meetings as i am not liking them, i know its me, but i hate the breaks, i hate the lonelyness i feel when i get left out, and i have a resentment against that guy who was horrible to me,
Howdy mate....been wondering where you disappeared to...
I cant tell yu what to do bud...but knowing you for a while...I really do think that you want to stay sober, instead of going back to the hell..
I dont go to meetings to prove anything to anyone else....and what they all think is up to them..
Its what I think that matters....and one takes ...what one needs to stay sober for another day...and leaves the rest...and that includes the people..I could react to..There are assholes in AA...as there are everywhere...cant hide from them....just dont react to them...
Ive never been to a bad AA meeting yet...but I have been to a few...where I really had to live and let live...
Ive even had a few where I went ..one on one comunication...outside of the meeting.....and most differences were solved...
You gonna let one or two people....control your sobriety buddy? Principles before personalities
Let it go.....Do whatcha gotta do for you pal....thats what matters...
Loneliness? ... Reach out to the rest of them...theyll reach back, with their hearts...
The more meetings I go to? The better I feel...
Thinkin of yu....
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
There's a way to get thru this, just not by drinking. That bridge is still out. We'll let you know if it ever gets fixed, enough folks keep going to check.
I got into recovery to save "MY LIFE" I'm not letting anyone run me out. As Phil said there are Asshole everywhere in life (some have considered me one) when you get rid of one another always shows up. You going to let one take away whats yours (your recovery) thats giving an asshole alot of power over you. As for the loneliness, I know where your coming from, always on the outside looking in? AAs aren't mindreader if you don't tell them how you feel they aren't going to know, how can they? You've got to reach out, the help is there but you have to ask for it. I confess, I'm a hypocrite, I can give advise but won't follow it myself. Guess we're subborn.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
cheers guys, I am thinking of starting going back to a meeting I used to go to on a wed evening, I start uni in two weeks, but in the meantime Im gonna have to surf the waves and get back on board, my partner has started drinking, (not alot ) only a small bottle of wine, (i dont see the point- typical alky) !!
I must admit I took a wiff just out of curiousity, I neally threw up! it was rank smelling I needed that to remind me what my insides smelt like a couple of years ago!
keep getting this girl at work d+ck teasing me, asking me out for a "drink" and wolf whistling, trying not to let old behavours come out.
been good so far... cant say the out come would be what I would expect, I think if I were to induldge in old ways it could be a direct link back to the old hell.
(One thing that works for me). Try to find onegood AA friend living within 5 to 25 miles of you, who you can relate to and who relates with you, then start a buddy system with them. Even if you can't always get to the same meetings, or talk to each other on a daily basis, you can keep a telephone life line going. Then plan on occasion to get together and talk about whatever you want, like the a**holes you both run into at AA meetings. You may have to travel some miles to other meetings until you may find another AA'er, (or, if lucky, two or three others) with whom you feel you have more in common, and can be comfortable with.
If you don't figure you have the time or resources for that, then maybe you can find someone within the UK via internet, with whom you can start an AA friendship, and who you can at least call on a fairly regular basis.
Ultimately, I also agree with Bob and Phil. There are always A**HOLES in the world. I wouldn't let one rule your meetings. If he throws any more crap your way at a meeting, you need to let him know in a very calm, even tone, that you are there for your recovery, and that he is there for his, and "I can manage my own 12 steps, thank you!"
"Ive never been to a bad AA meeting yet...but I have been to a few...where I really had to live and let live..."
When I relapsed for over 10 years, many times it was over what I thought I did not like, and had so many opinions about why I did not like a certain meeting.
When My Disease took me over, and was going to take me all the way. I had a Change of Heart, BIG TIME. I went to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous everyday for almost two years, I was there, as Bob mentioned, to Save my Life, I really did not pay attention, any longer to any opinion I formed about anyone, personally, I knew, the problem was me, not them.
So, when it got Bad Enough, then I was willing to do whatever it took, and the meetings were the number one requirement for me.
As far as the "A-- H---s", they are like opinions, everyone has one, right.
Over the years I have learned to carry around a very Big Eraser, figuratively, and when I spot some A...H... doing or saying anything, it does not take an AA meeting to find one. They can be found anywhere. I just get out that big Eraser, and erase them as fast as I can, and keep them OUT of my life, in a New York Minute.
You can borrow my Eraser, and take it to the meetings with you. Now there here, and swish, now they are not longer there. Works everytime.
Hope that you get yourself back, and by the way, maybe the University, will have some meetings, that would be great, eh?
Also reminds me of a Medicine that we don't like the taste of, but know that the medicine is Going to Work, so we take it anyway.
just to let you guys know I went back to that meeting today where the gentleman is who I mentioned, lets put it this way, he wont be bothering me again. And the best thing is, I didnt do anything,
Glad to hear you maybe getting back on track Robert??
I have to confess your first post in this thread reminded me of right before I relapsed... several different times. My relapses always start with a SH**Y attitude toward AA, and they started way before I actually picked up the drink.
I don't want to live in that pickle juice anymore.
Well done on going back to that meeting. I know that for me, if I didn't keep going to my meetings then I couldn't stay sober. I'm determined not to let one or two people and their character defects take my sobriety away from me. It's way too important for that.
I nearly always feel so much better and uplifted when I come out of a meeting. If I don't, then I take a good look at what I am doing wrong.
Take care and keep on going to the meetings, won't you? Please let us know how it is going for you.
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
