I am working throught the steps and I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to go about the letter's to people that we have caused harm or hurt due to our drinking?
All I can give you is my own experience, for what it is worth. Before even thinking about Steps 8 and 9, I had to make sure I had done the first 7 steps... and with that said...
My sponsor told me, and showed my in the 12&12, how I needed to gain HUMILITY by working Steps 8 and 9. In order for this to happen, I had to make all the face-to-face amends I could. There is something about being there present with a person whom you are trying to make amends to, which adds to the spiritual experience we are aiming for, which will ultimately arrest the disease of alcoholism.
I have heard of situations where people who were incarcerated had to make amends by way of letters. I also did have to write 1 amends letter, as the young lady lived 1,300 miles away and I had 'waited long enough'. So I prayed, then wrote this childhood friend a letter apologizing, expressing my regret for harm I had done, and offering that if there was a way I could make it right, to please let me know. I never heard back from her, and that is OK, because I did what I was told to do; I cleaned up my side of the street. But again, the only reason I wrote that letter instead of doing it in person was because of extenuating circumstances.
I would recommend that you read what the Big Book and the 12&12 have to say about making amends, before proceeding. And our sponsors, who know each situation form our 5th step, often have great insight on how to tackle each challenge in this area.
