I've been cruising in and out of this web-site for some time. Please send me some strength to get myself to an AA meeting. No-one know better than my-self that I'm an alcholic. This board literally saved my life last year...My life is a-lot different now.
I am back home in Ill. and have all the resourses available to get my-self together. The thought of getting my-self to a meeting enters my head a dozen times a day. Today is the first day since Sunday that I dont feel hung over. I havent drank since Sunday. I"M afraid to smoke a little weed because it automitaclly makes me want a beer. Over the weekend from Friday until Sunday I didnt stop drinking.
My "intuation" keeps telling my I've gotta stop because of all the heart medication I'm on. Heart attack at 42...Heart surgery at 45...Now at 47 I'm being a complete idiot. I was given a new heart...Feeling so healty... I'm blowing it!!! Been back in the operating room 2 times since my first surgery.
In October I'm gonna be a Grandma for the first time. I want to be here for my Grand-daughter more than anything in this world. But I'm sure not acting like it. For God's sake I dont even smoke cigs around my 2 sons. If they knew how much I drink they would just die. ( or course they are not stupid) I dont spend a-lot of time with my sons because of my drinking. We communicate by phone or e-mail.Sometimes I wont answer the phone ...Im too buzzed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can consider my-self 4 days sober...just need a little encourgement to walk thru them doors.
Take Care
Nancy Jo
__________________
Life is full of ups and downs
But the faces of love will
ease the pain and suffering
from:My Mother
Congratulations on four days sober! I can so well remember the time when to be four hours sober for me was a major achievement!
I do hope that you will be able to get to a meeting. I love coming to this board and it has been a wonderful source of support and comfort to me. But, nothing beats real meetings, for me anyway. Over the last nine months or so, I have found that when I have least wanted to go to a meeting that that has been the time when I have most needed to go.
And, as I read recently, "if I'm not an alcoholic, then why do I feel better after a meeting!"
Please let us know if you get to a meeting, won't you? I'm sure that everyone on this board wishes you a great meeting. I'm chairing at a meeting this evening and I'll be hoping that you get to one, too.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Well it is past noon there, so I hope that you are sitting in a meeting, and by the way, I cannot stay on the internet this morning, I have to get to a noon meeting here in California.
It really is not a matter of wanting to go, it seldom is, I do this process of placing my butt in chair, for one simple reason, I am an alcoholic, and the face to face meetings are what I need to do, it is like going into for a medication, that without the medication, I would someday turn away from the Program, and that fact alone scares me, more that you will ever imagine.
Dan, In his Response to Niall yesterday, really said it all, if you could go find that Post and read it, it was priceless, as to the value of why we go, and go often, time in this program, does really not have a lot of meaning, our spiritual condition remains, in how ofter we go to meetings, we will never be cured, got that one down, big time in my head.
So I hope that you will find the strength to aim your body in the direction of a Meeting, don't have to think about it, just take you body to the meeting, and the heart and mind will follow.
Just my little take here, glad you are here with us, and Welcome, hope you will let us know how that first meeting went.
I'll write and tell you about my meeting today, if you will write and tell me about yours.
A journey of a Thousand Miles, begins with just One Step, put some big arrows around your house, pointing to the front door, and follow them out of your house, just joking, but if I was having a problem getting my butt out of house, I might do something silly like that, so I would not have to think about it, I could go on automatic pilot, out the door, and into the rooms that will keep me away from picking up a drink.
Hugs, and again Welcome to this Awesome Board, so happy you found us.
