ive just realised that I have not really got any contacts in the fellowship, I feel like a ship thats just about to sink. Feel really bad about myself and I know no one really gives a . . .
I am feeling pretty bad today, have not USED today but have been piggin out and I hate that! every time I get a bit more angry or a bit more tired I drown another coke and mars and think Man I know something that will take all this pain away, problem is I dont like myself at all, and I hate everything about me,,,, dont know why I even bother to be honest as Id be better dead
Slow down or better yet, pause and do nothing. You have just let yourself get too lonely, angry, and tired. You seem to be taking care of the hungry part, and that's ok. Don't beat yourself up over it. I care and so do others. Just hang in there and I promise, things will get better.
You know, you said "and I know no one really gives a . . . ". That just isn't true.
As one alcoholic to another, Robert, I care about you and your recovery. So do a great many folk here on this forum and in the fellowship. Remember that, 'cos it's just how it is. You are a special person.
Take great care,
Carol
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
well darn! the half gallon is more than half gone Guess I'll skip the dish and eat straight out of the tub. Chunky Chocolate mmmmm.....mmmmmm that's good on a super hot day like today. Better than a beer even.
argh!! I got the same feeling today... just plain argh...
feel a lot better, but looked in the mirror... big mistake... feeling fat...
So I put on a maternity-type shirt with my shorts and flip-flops... no idea where I got this maternity-shirt... don't have kids and haven't been pregnant for 10 years... LOL but it's cute, with little ruffles and I don't have to 'suck it in'....
If I ate ice cream I would be miserable. I like to overload on noodles and stuff... same difference, all turns to sugar...
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Guess we all go through it at times. Have you ever gone to a meeting and just aired it out? I really believe you would find some people that do care and want to help. You just have to reach out. I know the bit about what your sponsor says but I believe that is b.s. Everyone has bad days and meetings are meetings. It's all to the good no matter what you say. If no one ever asked for help at meetings and told what's going on with them I don't think recovery is really possible. That's just my take. Hope this helps. Hang in there.
55-60 hours a week of gruelling and nauseating insurance/medicare/medicaid compliance for our company's medical/surgical equipment.... the pressure.... the exhaustion....
I was getting to very few meetings, felt like I was sinking.... prayed one time, on my knees, "God, help this situation to change so I can keep my recovery..."
A couple weeks went by, I wa spromoted then a week later down-sized.... my Higher Power, God, made it so that I was eligible for unemployment benefits.... now going to meetings meetings meetings and 're-centering' in my recovery.... I prayed and God did what was necessary....
Not saying God is going to take everyone's job away, but you would be surprised at the changes that can come about when we pray about it, no matter what it is....
By the way, decided to get accelerated nursing degree soon instead of doing the same thing and expecting different results....
How I lost my last job.... in sobriety... 55-60 hours a week of gruelling and nauseating insurance/medicare/medicaid compliance for our company's medical/surgical equipment.... the pressure.... the exhaustion.... I was getting to very few meetings, felt like I was sinking.... prayed one time, on my knees, "God, help this situation to change so I can keep my recovery..." A couple weeks went by, I wa spromoted then a week later down-sized.... my Higher Power, God, made it so that I was eligible for unemployment benefits.... now going to meetings meetings meetings and 're-centering' in my recovery.... I prayed and God did what was necessary.... Not saying God is going to take everyone's job away, but you would be surprised at the changes that can come about when we pray about it, no matter what it is.... By the way, decided to get accelerated nursing degree soon instead of doing the same thing and expecting different results.... Just my ES&H Jonibaloni
thanks
I forget that im going to uni in sept, and i am quitting in aug!! how NICE is that...
no more rubbish after that, looking for a nice coffee bar job or something
Guess I'll skip the dish and eat straight out of the tub. Chunky Chocolate mmmmm.....mmmmmm that's good on a super hot day like today. Better than a beer even. 
