Because life requires that we interact with different personalities, it is not uncommon for us to encounter a situation where there is one person whose behavior may negatively impact the experiences of others. Someone who is loud and crass can interrupt the serenity of those who come together to practice peace. A disruptive worker can cause rules to be imposed that affect their colleagues' professional lives. A team member who is pessimistic or highly critical may destroy the morale of their fellow members. And one "bad apple" in your personal life can be a potent distraction that makes it difficult to focus on the blessings you've been given and the people who love you.

There may always be people in your life who take it upon themselves to create disruption, foster chaos, stamp out hope, and act as if they are above reproach - even when, in doing so, they put a blight on their own experiences. But you don't need to allow their negativity and callousness to sour your good mood. Often, our first impulse upon coming head-to-head with a bad apple is to express our anger and frustration in no uncertain terms. However, bad apples only have the power to turn our lives sour if we let them.

If you can exercise patience and choose not to respond to their words or actions, you will significantly limit the effect they are able to have on you and your environment. You can also attempt to encourage a bad apple to change their behavior by letting your good behavior stand as an example. If your bad apple is simply hoping to attract notice, they may come to realize that receiving positive attention is much more satisfying than making a negative impression. While you may be tempted to simply disassociate yourself entirely from a bad apple, consider why they might be inclined to cause disturbances. Understanding their motivation can help you see that bad apples are not necessarily bad people. Though bad apples are a fact of life, minimizing the impact you allow them to have upon you is empowering because you are not letting anyone else affect the quality of your experiences.

Easier said than done, eh? I strongly rebel against malicious people, when I know that what they're doing is just another stage on their cruelty level. They can do it to me, and I can brush it off---but when they do it to someone I care for, I go into overdrive. I constantly have to work on this--ignorance and cruelty is not solved by more ignorance and cruelty. So I learn to pray for others to the best of my ability. If I don't feed the fire, the flames will consume themselves. "HP, let me learn to allow others to grow and learn from self imposed lessons without trying to stick my hands in it". Sigh. Wren, an alcoholic with a long way to go......

-- Edited by Toni Baloney at 19:25, 2006-07-06