I can't quite believe that I'm saying this but, this evening, I have completed my Step 5!!!
I feel so fantastic about it. I had been dreading doing my Steps 4 & 5, but I finally faced them and the pay-off is terrific. I've just hit 'Wowsville' at one hundred miles per hour!!!
The crazy thing is that when I was drinking I would happily tell anybody anything and not care about it. (In fact, I usually couldn't remember what I had said and to whom.) But, I was dreading really opening up to my sponsor. We had gone through it on Saturday, but we both agreed that there were the odd things that I hadn't gone into in enough depth.
As we were talking, I cried, and then I cried some more. All the feelings that I have for my sponsor of feelings of immense gratitude, loyalty and love. Not that long ago, if someone had got me to cry I would have re-played the whole scene over so many times and then got one massive resentment. Wow, how things have changed!
I cannot believe how things and me have changed in eight months. Life feels really great now.
Take care all, and happy 4th July.
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hey Carol, thanks for sharing these high feelings with us! Step five always makes me think of this tunnel I used to ride thru when my ex and I would go on runs, on Hwy 70. Beautiful drive once we got on the road, and I"d start sweating that damned tunnel about 20 miles out. By the time we reached it, I'd just be quivering inside. Then dealing with the echo of the engine as we passed thru it, but knowing in just a few moments I'd be back out into the sunshine, and just happy to be alive. Made it thru without crashing one more time! We must have done that run a hundred times, and even though I knew we'd get thru the tunnel just fine, I'd be tense as a cadaver until we made it out the otherside. And then life seemed so much sweeter while my eyes reached that light. Congrats on coming out the other side! Love Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
