Yep, I've had that experience. Kind of sucks until you realize it's not personal. I've gone into meetings when I've moved or freshly gotten sober and during my speech I would announce that I am new here. Or say for instance I wasn't new there. I would bring it up that I need support right now, that I'm hurting. Try that and you might be surprised at how many people really do care.
Sorry that no-one spoke to you at your meeting and that you felt totally alone. That hasn't happened to me. But, I know that isn't the 'norm' at meetings. Please don't judge AA just by that meeting. (Forgive me, but I don't know how many meetings you have gone to).
Please keep coming back to this super forum and read and post as much as you want to.
Take care, won't you?
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Well there are lots of different groups out there that claim to be AA groups, not all of them are really in the spirit of recovery. Then also, sometimes it is what we bring to the meetings that colors our experience-
I have walked out of meetings before., a few have been just awful! But that is the exception, because I stick to the groups that are positive, solution-oriented, energetic about recovery, and where we tend to care about eachother-
JB. You are absolutely right my experience in AA has shown me that although people talk the talk about recovey they are not actually on a programme of recovery. Got gossiped about few months ago and it really hurt my feelings thats why I am really struggling with AA. The women in question has been around 14 years and should know better than that. I guess time in recovery is no indication how sober you really are. My programme suggests action and looking constantly at my own code of conduct which I do on a daily basis when I looked at this from my own conduct what I realised is that she has made a judgement of what I have said in the rooms so for me I dont feel safe in AA at all now..
Even in a 'room full of strangers'... I still need to ask for help sometimes if I want it. If it is really really bad, I need to make it known. We AA's are two bricks shy sometimes... we don't 'get it' without it being laid out right in front of us sometimes.... "HELLO!!! I NEED HELP.... NOW!!!"... seems to work for me sometimes.
Hope you don't avoid the rooms of AA, virgo. Please keep trying to get the help you are searching for.
I guess you are right need to find meetings that I feel more comfortable at being gossiped about is not nice I dont do that. I guess I have to allow people to be who they are even at the expense of my own feelings. I've been through tougher things than this little prob and hey its her problem. At the moment dont feel like going to AA the damage some people in AA can do is astonishing my sobriety is my priority and thats the most important thing. Thanks for your help it helps a lot asking for help always difficult for me my pride always gets in the way guess I feel at 5 yrs sober I should know what to do but I dont really know anything at all
I'm still "trying out" meetings in my area so I don't a lot of experience yet.
I've been to meetings like that before. Everyone kept to themselves & I felt out of place.
Then I've been to meetings where I've gotten a very warm welcome.
So, I guess, I would suggest to keep trying other meetings. I now have seen some "gossip" & it really isn't about anonymity, then I stay away or don't share anything that I don't want said outside these walls.
. Please keep trying to get the help you are searching for.
