After lurking for a couple of days and getting a feel for the place, I decided to say hi. I'm new to sobriety, but not really new to the program. I'm a chronic relapser I guess. After almost 10 months of drunkenness, I've been beaten into submission--literally--by alcoholism. So I'm back. Trying to reach out to new people and really getting honest with myself and others this time.
Welcome to this wonderful Forum. It's a great place to be as it is filled with some wonderful people and lots of great advice.
I could so easily identify with you. I first came to AA in March 2004. I had eight wonderful weeks and I didn't drink a drop. I started to feel really good about myself. Then, I guess I thought that I was 'cured' and stopped attending meetings.
Within days, I was not only back to drinking at my old level, but I reached a new stage in my alcoholism. My drinking really escalated and I couldn't even try to pretend to myself that it was under control. After eighteen long months, I finally went back to AA.
I was happy and relieved to surrender. I fully admitted and accepted that I was an alcoholic and that I couldn't get sober on my own. I also started to become honest with people about my drinking. I had managed to keep it so well hidden that nobody knew just how bad it had got. It's great, today, to be able to be completely honest about how bad it was.
Now, my life is getting so much better. Even tiny things are wonderful and I appreciate life so much more. Even a bad sober day is infinitely better than a good drunk one.
Keep coming back and reading and posting. Don't forget to let us know how you are doing.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hi and welcome! I remember saying too that I was a relapser. I had 6 years at one point went back out,and stuggled. When I'd go back out, I'd throw away all my AA stuff like books and coins,phone numbers... and say I'm not like those people and I can drink. I'd go crawling back,just to go back out again. I guess this time what made a difference is that I treated myself like a newbe. I started from scratch. I got a sponcer, went to 90/90 worked each step with my sponcer and took suggestions for the most part. I even sponcered a few folks in my early recovery. Today I still make meetings,read recovery stuff everyday and go on line here and to another forum. Sad to say my poor sponcer died,so i need to find another one,but I still find that everday is a new day to start my recovery. I don't sponcer anyone any more being I have to work on myself a bit more before I can give it away. I'm going to have 2 years in 6 weeks and I'm excited. Your not alone in your relaps, a lot of folks go through them. Keep posting and have a great sober day.
