The urge to abuse myself is sometimes overwhelming. I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday who I haven't spoken with for about 3 yrs. He does not understand the alcoholic situation, although he drinks heavily himself. But, he is a friend of mine from the age of 8. I have to respect his misunderstanding and there's nothing that I can do to change him, nor do I want to. I'm just glad that we spoke again after so long. Anyhow, I'm just ranting now so I will go. Good wishes to everyone and I know your higher power will be with you. Noel.
Yep, trying to explain the Disease of Alcholism to someone that is not, is a Trip.
A circular trip, Ha Ha.
AHH, the comfort of talking to another Recovering drunk, or someone not yet recovering, comes to mind.
For so many years, when i was telling people, that were old friends, that I was in AA, heard it so many times, Toni, you can't be an alcoholic. And if you have stopped drinking, then thats all you have to do, SURLY you can have a glass of wine, or one when you want, Right???????? DUHHHHH!
Of course that was before the Plunge into the Decent of the Disease, when I'm sure no one would have disputed the fact, but................ they were no longer speaking to me. HA HA. (a pretty long list of Amends, I done had)
I didn't see my best friend for months after I sobered up. And when I finally did, the first thing she asked me was to drive her around bars, so that she wouldn't have to drive drunk. Since I was now sober, I guess she still needed her undrinking buddy. I've checked in with her off and on over the years, when I go back to visit Cali. We've known eacthother since we were 14. Gads, that's 41 years. Now, she's still drinking on top of meds for schizophrenia. Hears voices. Cannot finish a sentence, cuz she forgets what she's saying and just fades away. And neurological damage from the booze has made her leg all messed up. She doesn't walk well. I remember her as being so strong, we used to work for CCC, and she'd be out there planting trees with the forestry crew, I'd be in the kitchen. Booze totally stole who she was. It hurts to see her, but it's also a good wake up call. And I can remember her telling a mutual friend " Chris is an alcoholic, yknow". I don't think she even recognises that she is. Every time I call, I'm surprised that she answers the phone. But for the Grace of God. Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
my cousins reaction when i first started going too a.a. was "what the hell are you trying too do? make us all look bad, you drink the least of all of us!" funny now...not so funny then.
My family doesn't understand alcoholism at all. One thing they do understand is that meetings keep me healthy.
As to friends still out there, I still hear horror stories. I've met some really, really good people that I used to party with. I miss them, but I don't really talk to them too often these days.
She is a bit of a radical poet and playwrite, popular beginning around '75 for her feminist views and poetry. I am not a feminist, per se, but do have my opinions, LOL. But, when I had read this particular lineI was very touched by it. Hugs, Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
