Oh gads, I've got the memory of a sieve, Robert, truly. I think at some point, we just remember the very relevant things, the now things, and everything else gets filed away somewhere. I sometimes find myself struggling for nouns. The nice thing being, I've learned that there's a whole lot of us with the same problem. It used to be embarassing, really. I could "see" the pic in my head of what I wanted to say but would have to really work at coming up with its name. Drives me nuts. Unlike you, tho, I understand that this is also a well known phenomena for women in my age group.
There was a time, in the first months of sobriety, that I had to have someone with me to take care of business. Things I'd done, like paying bills (sometimes) under the influence, I found I couldnt do at first when I'd sobered up. My thinking wasn't cohesive. Since that time, tho, I went back to school, and I think I must have just retrained part of my poor brain to pick up where it had been left off. I've met some that weren't so fortunate, can't hold a conversation with them, they drift off in the middle of a talk. I think we may be the lucky ones. Wren
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Funny, isn't it, how friends and a Power greater than ourselves can neutralize nightmares?
When I saw that word, I almost raised my right hand, like i would in a meeting. Ha Ha. (That shoud tell you something!)
Can so relate, and have to say the 1st year was by far the Worst! The dots were not connecting.
Today they connect some of the time, and then most of the time, and then, sometimes, really not very well at all.
But I agree with you Chris, whatever we have left of our brains, and phsical bodies, we are the FORTUNATE ones.
Robert, there is a saying that the first year is physical, i think that includes the fuzzy stuff in our heads, it does really get better, promise. But you seem pretty sharp, you would not have been admitted to the University if you were not in good shape mentally.
Hope you have a great Sunday, I am making Ratatoui for my Son that will be here in 2 hours,
See you tomorrow,
Toni
PS. Robert, you asked the question of long this takes, it was the second year, and working my ass off in this Program, and sticking to it, like you are doing, trying to improve your health, The second year was so much clearer, in my head, that's my recall. i also remember well, asking when does this get better? A lot.
I can relate. Darn puzzle pieces won't fit together anymore. This job I started is really stressful for me due to the fact that I have to read and comprehend like 20 different blueprints to put all the pieces together in the right order in the right positioning. It's mind boggling. My brain does seem to be working better lately though. My anxiety is so much better these days it's amazing. I used to be ashamed to hold peoples hands at the end of the meeting because my hands were all sweaty and clammy. Even that's getting better! I am trying these days to accept what I have done to myself physically and mentally through my using days. Kinda rough....
I am new at this but am so happy you are all here!
the loss of memory thing...yes, I had a real bad case of it...and I have been in the program a long time.
It is just as some say, when anxiety is worse, and stress is worse, then the memory loss is worse too.
makes sense to me. I wonder if this new way of living taakes so much energy and new behavior that we just get exhausted! when I went to college for 2 yrs and worked part time, I was really having a hard time. my daughter thought I needed to have tests done for alzheimers (sp?)
But things have gotten so much better..I have to spend a lot of time meditating and relaxing...this seems to help.
Now, I pretty much can tell when I am building up to stressing out, and since I live alone, it is easier for me to go outside for a walk or go swimming or do some heavy duty praying and Letting go...of everything!
