Feeling invisible.......

soberdrunk · MIP Old Timer

Feeling invisible.......

Phil · MIP Old Timer

Hey Sober..You are a part of....

You reach out to this guy..Ile reach back..and im sure its the same with everyone here.

email is philipld@sympatico.ca

Email me bud..Ile put yu on the "pass on the jokes list..." You need never feel alone...or left out.:)

Wren · Senior Member

Hey Justin,

I wrote you a bit of a long message the other night, using your email address rather than pm. Did you recieve it okay? It includes my personal email addy also.

No, you are not invisible. There are times that I have answers to questions right there in my head, and other times where I have to sort of mull over something before answering, but I am always aware of your posts. You aren't invisible at all, my Friend. a hug, Wren

Toni Baloney · MIP Old Timer

Hi There Justin,

Well I can say for me, you are one of the Most Important people here, well we are all part of being the most important, really, but I have watched you and stayed in touch with you through PMs cause when you came you asked for help, and I heard you.

I think your progess in AA, and the way you are letting the Program embrace you and how you love the meetings is so so great!!!! Getting a good sponsor, actively doing the Steps, great work!

You came in and gave it your ALL, and the changes I have seen you in are nothing less than amazing.

I also want to tell you how much I appreciate your honesty in this Post. We could all take a real lesson, in how you spoke from the heart and let us know how you are feeling, I would imagine that is what you would do in a meeting. Right?

I did that once, and the result was also amazing, said I was new to this area, and for as much as I wanted to start feeling really at home in my noon meetings, it seemed that everyone had their friends at the end ot the meeting, and even though I was sticking around after the meetings, I always went home feeling really still as isolated as when I came to the meeting. Well the results of that, were the end of the isolation, I have many friends, at the meetings now, getting to know so many people, and DO feel very much a Part of. And it started with me getting honest with how I really felt, about the meetings, not just sharing some abstract stuff, when I shared.

We come into this board, and into AA, from a life of ISOLATION, and the Pain of that Isolation, and it needs to change for all of us, that is a GIVEN.

I spent my whole life really feeling like I was on the outside, looking in at the candy store, so to speak, and could never figure out how to get to the inside. AA changes
all of that, with the working of the steps, and the comradary of all that are committed to being in the Program, and letting our own Recovery take first place in our lifes, we really do have such a wonderful bond with other Alkes.

I have the feeling at your meetings, your feel at home and a part of, and you really do need to feel that same stuff here. I hope that this feeling of being "invisable" is removed, as I know it would be pretty painful to feel like that, and we have all been invisable enough in our lives.

So God Bless your dear, and thanks again for this Post.

Your friend, with a Big HUG, and for me , all i can say is I REALLY DO SEE YOU, and HEAR you.

Toni

kspear · Veteran Member

I remember feeling very much the same when I had just about the same amount of sobriety. I loved how great it had felt to be so much the center of attention when I was a brand spanking newbie in the program and how horrible it felt when other newbies came along and "replaced" me (that's how I felt). My sponsor explained to me that now that I had a little bit of time under my belt, it was time for me to stop looking to be the center of attention. It was time for me to start reaching out to the newest of the newbies. It was time for me to start doing service work. The list went on and on. Of course, I was righteously indignant! How dare he tell me he thought I was self centered!!!! Sadly, he was right. I did (after a brief hissy fit) take his suggestions and started looking for ways I could reach out to others. (Working with others in the Big Book puts it as looking for what I can bring to the occasion instead of what I can get out of it - totally changed my life, let me tell you!!!) I became secretary at a meeting I attended regularly. And I took his suggestion of adding to my morning prayer, "God, take me out of the center of the universe, let me be of service to others, help me to know your will for me today and please give me the strength to carry it out."

That is just my experience, strength and hope. I can't say if that is or isn't your situation. I can't offer advice (well, I could, but it doesn't mean it would be any good for you). Just my story.

Karen

Rob · Senior Member

Well soberdrunk.. i am on here..and im a practicing drunk though ihate to say that..

I appreciate you comments. i look up to you as i do with everyone else who is sober..

Please feel that your comments are noticed.. Please feel part of this board.. i am struggling to feel anything at the mo.. im so confused... my mind is mess..

but you have posted comments to me and hey havnt gone un noticed..

Thanx man..

Rob

iffer · Senior Member

I'm really sorry you feel that way. I also read every post every day but do not post all that much because I don't have alot of answers. I appreciate all of your input here and have learned some great things from you as well. I know what it's like to feel invisible.....I still do at my regular meetings sometimes.

Please know that I for one am always reading and getting something from everyone on this board. Every little bit helps me to continue on and strive for sobriety. I think we hardly ever know when we have helped someone either by posting here or sharing at a meeting because often people don't come out and say "You helped me today" but I know for me there are countless people in the rooms and on this board who have helped me and didn't know it. I think that's why we are told to share our ESH....you never know what someone will take from it and use to help keep them sober.

Thanks for your honesty!

Jen

soberdrunk · MIP Old Timer

Thanks Phil, Wren, Toni, Karen, Rob, and Jen. I appreciate all of your replies. I don't need to fill my life with things to make me happy that will go away but I do need people to confide and relate to. To me that's the fellowship at it's best. Thanx again.