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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Things seem to be gettin worse
Post Info TOPIC: Things seem to be gettin worse
Rob


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Things seem to be gettin worse
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Things seem to be gettin worse
 
My weekend was pretty shit just like last weekend..
 
I just cant seem to stop drinking......... part of me wants to drink
 
i woke up this mornign feeling awful and thinking that tonight i was not gona drink (as iv thought SOO many bloody times before) but by end of work drinking seemed to appeal to me..
 
I gota not drink wednesday and onwards this week cos im off work from this thursday and dont go back to work till nxt thursday. iv got things i need to do and im away in wales with my dad this coming weekend to do some fishing etc..... 
 
This weekend just gone, like weekend before, i had wanted top go fishing but i came home from work friday and drank too much n woke up saturday too affected to drive and i felt like shit.. .. hung around my room most the day, went out for kebab then back home and drank late saturday night so woke up still pissed sunday and feeling shit.. so i stayed in my room almost all day again sunday on pc etc...then started drinkin about 3pm. .. so this weekend just gone like last weekend (easter) i did bugger all but drink and laze about feelign like shit..  
 
I am drinking everynight..  At weekends im drinking more than i do in the week.. Im worried i will drink more tonight actualy.. if i leave it at the 4 STRONG largers i will be over the limit in the morning but at a manageale level, if that makes any sense.  ?.  If i go get another can i will be really f**k**d when i wake up tomorrow.. and tomorrow i am kinda more in charge/responsible cos other colleage is off work...
 
I feel that i will probably not drink when i got to wales this weekend cos the last couple of times i have have gone i have kinda flicked into a different mode... alot because i have fished (or attempted) the sea and needed to be up for the tide... etc...  So im hoping i will do the same this time..
 
Im gona be with my dad and that is gona be stressfull as i know he will be drinking and gettin drunk every night as per usual....   But somehow he seems to be able to get up and still function the next day...
 
I gota try to get to grips with this.. ffs i wish i didnt have to work nxt two days.. Originaly i was gona book more days off this week but woman at work needs a couple of days off this week to sort something out so i changed my plans so that she could still do what she needed to do..  
 
I am gona try to get my ass to the meeting tomorrow night.. Though im kinda dreading seeing Alan and saying that iv still been drinking..   I know he will understand.. But i wish i could say i was sober even a day.. but i cant.. cos i cant seem to stop drinking..
 
Anyway iv not posted on here for just under a week so i hope you are all doing ok, iv read abit on here but not alot cos iv been kinda preoccupied and also iv had probs accesssing the site..
 
Rob
 

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wandajf


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Well, Rob, as a friend of mine says, "a persons got to do what a persons got to do til a persons not got to do it any more".  When you are ready, we will all be here, encouraging you on.  I think you are right, part of you wants to drink.  I hope, soon, that part goes away.


You are in my prayers.



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wandajf
amanda2u2


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hi, Rob...  I'm glad to see you posting again. It means you are alive and able to post. I think Alan will probably see it much the same way. When we see someone come back after being out for awhile, we are just glad s/he made it back. We've seen too many people not make it back and hear they are dead or in jail or something.


Your dad may appear to be handling it better on the surface of it, but, he's liable to ruin his liver and relationships too. I'm hoping that it will happen that all of you go into recovery.


love in recovery,


amanda



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Phil


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Things seem to be getting worse eh?


Yup...thats usually the trend our freind...


And theyll likely continue to get worse until the bottle is put down..and stays down...


Its a one day thing...just for today...


 With me...The compulsion to drink, was bigger than the desire to stop..and take action on a daily basis to stay stopped..


Nothing to complicate..it was that simple..


And It doesnt matter a dam...whatever everyone else around you... is doing...and what they do about them..its up to you what you do about you...Still your call..and your choices..


Hope you survive the storm, buddy..all the best to yu..


 



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Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
Doll


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The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous


Chapter 2


"There is a solution"


..... if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic's drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can't feel the ache......


 


 



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iffer


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Good to see you're still alive Rob.....been thinking about you as I have slipped the past few days and been drinking again tonight....


I was reading that part in the big book last night that Doll posted and it makes so much sense to me......I have set this terrible disease in motion again and need to get my sobriety back or I will die.  I've gone to meetings the past two days and talked with my sponsor but for some reason tonight I decided to drink and I can't tell you why.........my dog didn't run away, I didn't lose my best friend, life is ok for me...I just can't get the frigging alcohol out of my damn head!  I feel like a failure and that just makes me want to drink more...


Alcoholism SUCKS!!!!


Jen



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Wren


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Well, Dearest Rob, you knew they wouldn't get better, didn't you? Worse is the only way it can go with this disease. You do know what you have to do---I've seen you do it. Do it again, only this time, make it to meetings even if you don't like them. Sitting in a meeting for 1.5 hrs. you don't like is preferable to sitting in your room dying. And you did find a few meetings you liked. Go to them. Keep talking to Alan. Keep posting. Don't drink. All the things we've spoken of. Remember, " a desire to stop drinking". We're here when you're ready. Love Chris

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Noel A


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Hey buddy, I understand what you're going through, at least I think I do. I have had the same problem. Too many times. I have been to the hospital 14 times since Jan. 2. All attributed to alcohol. My pancreas is worn out, I have gall stones. I went ahead and went through the detox by myself, and it was brutal. Vomit, diarhea, shakes and so on. I am 39 yrs. old. Too old to die young. (as the song says) Please just go through the process of detoxing and get on without alcohol. I don't care who or what your higher power is, but maybe ask him/her for some direction. Write back if you want to, I'm always available. Noel.


 



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Noel A
zoomie


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Rob,just food for thought... You might want to check out more than just an AA meeting now and then.  There are I'm sure rehabs and alcohol resources in your aria.  Some men and women do not get sober on their own even with the help of AA.  They need medical help along with AA.  There is no shame in needing help,but I'm sure you heard this all before.  Have a fun safe fishing trip with your dad.

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Rob


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Thanx everyone.. 


 


Didnt go to meeting tonight... drinking.. though so far not had much..


I know i need to get to more meetings.. its just they stress me out so much, social anxiety and everything, that its just hard.. 


 


Actualy it was really really wierd: i did go to offi and buy another drink last night and i drank it late, so i should have been really drunk this morning but i wasnt anywhere near as bad as i should have been, infact i wasnt as affected as i was when i got up monday morning and i had drank earlier sunday... Wierd...  But iv been so bloody tired today...


Anyway.. Thanx again guys.. .


I hope you are ok Jen?


Rob



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Noel A


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Hello, Rob. My name is Noel. I am also having a very hard time without the drink. I am offering you some support and if you would like to chat at sometime I am available for that. Take care.


 



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Noel A
Rob


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Thanx Noel, i appreciate that..


 



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soberdrunk


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I also suffer from social anxiety as do many other alcoholics. So used to being alone don't know how to function around others. You know what Rob? If you are an alcoholic I hope things get worse fast for you. That way it might save you a life time of suffering from this wretched disease. There is help out there, all you have to do is be willing to reach out for it. I like you Rob otherwise I wouldn't even be saying this. You are in my prayers friend.

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Justin S.
Robert


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Rob bud, where you live? when i was at that stage, I had to surrender, I did AS MANY meetings each day as I could, when i was not at a meeting i was doing something, if you drink at home like i did, get the heck out of the house, go to a pool or a sauna, cafe, meeing again,  jsut do anything but be in your own head cos thats where the disease is and if you dont, you just might drink. if life is shite what you got to lose, surrender to A.A go to 3 meetings a day,. wash the pots make the tea, do ANYTHING just to get out of your own head without alcohol. Believe me A.A will f+++ up your drinking if you let it, its a real social life killer!!


JUST DO IT.


I wish you luck , from one hopless alky to another there are 24 hours in a day. sleep if you must, just do not pick that first drink up, a good newcomers book as well as the big book is living sober.


gis me your addy i will send it to you


robertgreco5@aol.com



-- Edited by Robert at 07:49, 2006-04-26

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Robert


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Right im off to the pool and sauna when i get back, if you have replied i shall send book 1st class as a gift.

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Robert


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if you aint got a big book get one, until then here it is online. its pretty cool: http://www.nokama.com/bigbook/


i burnt mine when i relapsed, i needed it again within a short period! so dont burn yer book!



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