I drank the past two nights and felt like shit and didn't call my sponsor yet but I will today. I am starting over with step 1
Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanagable
Yes that is me. Powerless over alcohol for sure, my life is unmanagable because I can't seem to let go and take it easy. Can't stop drinking once I start...I was ready to walk to the store last night when I was out of beer.........but I didn't. Thank God because then there would be left over beer and I would drink it like I did last night....
For today I will focus on not drinking, no matter what, even if my ass falls off.....
Hi Jen, I've slipped in the past before, nothing to be ashamed of.
Just pick yourself up and get to a meeting.
Starting at step one again is a good move, the desease is a real evil bast*%d and takes some people a lot of work to defeat.
Just keep sober one day at a time and work the steps.
Best wishes to youfrom the UK.
Go for it!
Chris.
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
I am so messed up in my head right now. I am jittery and anxious and just feel like crap. I called my sponsor and she was very supportive and we are going to meet this week. She suggested I do 90 in 90 so I am going to try to do that.
It is amazing to me what alcohol does to me. I am right back where I started. Dammit!
I would have thought after 4 1/2 months of not drinking that I would not be able to drink as much as I did. about 12 beers the first night and 7 the next but it would have been more if there was more. An the thing is the second night I didn't really feel drunk. Just felt like shit.
I have to say that the first beer really did give me that relief that I was looking for but after that it was just the craving for more.
Now that I know more about alcoholism I was able to spot those feelings....the instant craving for more and the mental obsession came right back. I was planning my drinking friday during work.....thinking about it all day.....INSANITY!!!
Well, enough out of me. I'm going to try to get some sleep.
Jen
Oh, has anyone heard from Rob? I've been thinking about him today..
Sometimes a slip is called 'doing research'. We slip but we are more aware and see things from a different perspective, so we learn a few things, about alcoholism and about ourselves. Some poeple don't learn anything, but some do,,, and it sounds like you learned a lesson,, so you are not back where you were, but more like it was two Steps forward and one step back. The 90 in 90 sounds like a good idea. You can try attending more than one group too, and learn a lot more that will help you when your thinking starts to get stinking and tend toward drinking. It's a good idea, some say, to remember your last drunk, and how it started out so nice and then got so bad. I remember my last 'experiment' and research. And there is a concept about 'playing the tape all the way through', as we tend to remember how good that first drink was, but we forget how disappointing and lousy it go after that.
Today is a new day, let us rejoice and be glad in it,
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Hi Jen. It's a miracle that I'm still here after my relapses. I had 364 days last time. I have learned valuable lessons from those horrifying experiences. I told one guy I respect at the meetings about how my sponsor has me doing a 90&90 and he told me one reason about the importance of going to meetings for 90 days straight. Taking for granted that you go to a step meeting every week, you get to learn all the steps and become familiar with them in 90 days(12 weeks.) I thought that was pretty cool. I go to meetings daily and a step and big book meeting weekly. I think that the answers to my problems can be found in good ole Alcoholics Anonymous. God has put some wonderful people in my life from these meetings, for that I am grateful. I hope you follow your sponsors suggestions. My sponsors suggestions sometimes seem like orders but I realize that if I don't follow direction I am that more likely to relapse.
Anyways, I hope you stick around long enough for the miracle to happen. That one quote just popped in my head from the book........something about...I forget......hold on........
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--that principle is contempt prior to investigation." by Herbert Spencer
Honesty, Open mindedness, and willingness are key in getting and staying sober!!!!
