A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
Must be an English thing Mate....Your jokes are as bad as mine are...hahaha
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Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first deputy slept in the room with Daryl and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you"?
He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different deputy's turn.
In the morning, same thing - hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful"!
He said,"Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man.
The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning."
They couldn't believe it!
They said, "Man, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night".
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Life is short..Live it sober to the fullest...One day at a time...
