"All spiritual awakenings have some things in common. Common elements include an end to loneliness and a sense of direction in our lives."Basic Text p. 48Some kinds of spiritual experiences take place when we confront something larger than we are. We suspect that forces beyond our understanding are operating. We see a fleeting glimpse of the big picture and find humility in that moment.Our journey through the Twelve Steps will bring about a spiritual experience of the same nature, only more profound and lasting. We undergo a continual process of ego-deflation, while at the same time we become more conscious of the larger perspective. Our view of the world expands to the point where we no longer possess an exaggerated sense of our own importance.Through our new awareness, we no longer feel isolated from the rest of the human race. We may not understand why the world is the way it is or why people sometimes treat one another so savagely. But we do understand suffering and, in recovery, we can do our best to alleviate it. When our individual contribution is combined with others, we become an essential part of a grand design. We are connected at last.Just for today: I am but one person in the entire scheme of things. I humbly accept my place in the big picture.
XXXXXXX my "larger than i am" was my whole LIFE and my post trauma stress syndrome from all the OLD pain, unresolved......that was my spiritual awakening....like "i can't DO this by myself, Lord, HELP!!!".........than i gave up the ego and the pride and became humble.....than my HP could work THROUGH me as better health, behaviour, etc........the 12steps, all in perfect order are where i found my HP whom i call diferent names, but all the source of all things good......never did i ever think i would open up to or accept a power higher than i am.....thank goodness i have becuz the burden on my small shoulders was wearing me down......life was beating me down........
somewhere in the bible Jesus says "take my yoke, for it is lighter than yours".....in other words, he was saying "hey let me worry about the big stuff--- u just show up for duty---let me handle the outcome".....works for me.....i feel lighter working and PRACTICING this program.....through the ups and downs and the pain MUCH pain, i can see a light beginning to show at the end of this long tunnel.....i will stay in this program for life....i FEAR, really fear, leaving it ever, i dont EVER want to go back to the way i used to be...thinking "i got it" and i don't "need the program" boy that scares me more than anything, my ego growing back and my thinking i don't need this for the rest of my life......i pray each day, as i surrender my life and my will OVER that i am reminded to WORK THE program and the STEPS till i quit breathing......why get into shape to just let it go????? thats what i would do......
i don't understand the world and really?? i am here for a visit, it is none of my business...i pray for peace, i send out vibes of peace and love to the world, but that is all i can do....try to be a blessing in my own little universer and thats it.....why we treat one another so savagely??? i was brutalized by my own caretaker-bio father AND mother.....so figure that one??? like spiders they turned on their own young and sucked the life out of us....when i drew pictures of them in school and my inner child STILL sees them as spiders..insatiable, black spiders..like snakes in a dream......
why??? who knows??? it is not my business to know WHY he gave his soul over to the darkness....i dont WANT to understand that kind of **degenerate** mind...leave it be!! leave it to God!!!!.........
i see us all as so many jewels, diferent colors, diferent shapes, in this BIG universal crown.....we all twinkle in our own way, sending our steams of light to the other side....i am grateful to be a part of this....my light almost went out..it was barely flickering when i first came into recovery, but with working the program and cooperating with my HP, i am being "fanned" back into a brighter light......
