I am now employed. I have been really struggling with not knowing how to make ends meet and trying to help my family instead of being a financial burden. I feel high on life. Anxiety is really bad right now because I'm so excited but it will pass.
Give it a couple of weeks and I'll be complaining about how my job sucks.LOL! Just kidding. A couple of weeks ago I didn't even know if I was employable. When I went for my interview I checked that box that said yes I've been convicted of a felony. They just asked me when and I told them 02 and that was the end of that. Usually I lie about that part. I see that as being an act of faith. I didn't get stressed out like I usually do when going through the interview process. God is working in my life. I believe that. So far I have already spent the first paycheck in my mind!!! I think I need to slow down a lil bit. I think I lost my brain somewhere along the walk home.
This means I will have to stop my IOP classes next week. That's okay with me though. I'm still going to A.A. daily and that's what I really need. Life is good today I just wish this darn anxiety would go away, it's hard to function right now. I hope everyone is doing as good as possible.
And congratulations on securing a job, that I hope you will enjoy,
And wow, we are not very good at when things really go our way, but this anxiety is a good anxiety right, feeling so good about getting a job, and the anticipation of what going to be there.
Remember, we only REALLY have the moment we are in. Nothing more. Staying in the day we are in and the hour we are in is kind of difficult when we get excited about something in the future. Have to say we are ALL so much a like, eh?
Try breathing into this moment, over and over, that's what works for me. We can let the feeling of just feeling good, be there too, enjoy it. Sometimes when my mind won't let me stay out of tomorrow, I will take a shower, and go through this thing of saying out loud "I am now washing my arm, i am now washing my shoulder, I am now washing my hair." Probably sounds pretty silly, but it does bring me right back to what I am doing.
And was thinking of one of my favorite little commercials, that I actually enjoy, when I see it, it is about some deorderant, and it goes "If we are not a little nervous, we are not alive"
The anxiety means that you are worrying about the future? Some of what we call 'performance anxiety' is normal. It puts us on our toes. but to have anxiety interfere with our lives is not good. I keep repeating "Do your best and God does the rest"... the future has a way of unfolding that way. Do your Step 3 and trust God, while you go ahead and take your Steps and do your best in each present moment. k?
breathe
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
