Hi Rob, well done on your sobriety, it's wonderful reading the latest adventures of Rob
Thursday night I downed 12 cans
Friday night another 12
Saturday sober after wrestling with that difficult 7-10 time period
Sunday my ex girlfriend came round in the morning after not seeing her for 3 weeks and we did some making up if you know what I mean.
Apart from the girlfriend part it was a disaster where the booze was concerned...
It's Sunday again and booze is a million miles away from my desires, as it will be until next Thursday
The main worry for me is the money side of things as I can't afford it. Then it's the worry of the damage it's doing that I can't see i.e. outside and inside.
Better luck next week, I'm skint till the 21st so I have no choice....
I'm quite cheery though and feel positive for some reason...possibly I'm just mental haha
Well you didnt drink last night right? You managed to make it through that difficult 7-10 time space.. i know what you mean.. So thats a big plus mate.. If you normaly drink thur, fri and sat and this week drank thur and fri but not sat.. then well done mate.. and i guess it gave you abit more engergy for making out.. sorry making up with your ex girlfriend (lol).
Yeah money issue is a bitch i know.. over drafts and credit cards for me.. Least you are thinking about these things.. Least you are aware and so far its 2-3 nights a week rather than 345 - 365 nights a year!
Well good luck with next weekend or whenever you are next faced with the desire/delema..
Good that you are being honest and coming on here and saying.. Its all a start and its all on road to improvement.. .. has been for me anyway.. .. I would love a drink this afternoon.. offi closes in 5 mins until 7.. actualy there is one a few miles away open till 5.. they are really fucking expensive..
Actualy i went to the offi today to buy some sprite, crisps, pringles and an ice cream.. walked right past the beer.. but i did stop at one point just for a moment just aware that the port was on the shelf behind me and the beer i like is to my right, just round the corner.. .. i feeling of .. well hard to explain kinda of an option of a promise of warmth and comfort there ... ,.. But it was just for a moment and i got what i needed and came home.. but it had triggerd something in me abit..
But nvm i didnt get any.
Im not as bad an alcoholic as many are .. but when i drink i drink every night of the week.. At the moment you are not drinking everynight and have alot better chance of recovery than you will be if you start drinking everynight.
OK im kinda waffling now.. tired.. been fishing for 5 hours n caught 2 small roach and 2 small perch..
Well good luck mate.. keep us posted..
Im sure the others will have stuff to say to ya too.
Cheers Rob, I'm still not sure why I do it to myself, I need to work that out but I can't (or won't) work it out??
Pros of bingeing: Relieves boredom on a weekend. er.........
Cons of bingeing: I can't afford it, It makes my farts smell really bad(lol), It makes me have a bit of an alky complexion in my face i.e. flushed skin and sunken eyes and a bit of a beer gut too, my digestive system is a bit knackered, it makes me lazy(?), it causes anxiety, it depresses me(usually as a Tuesday night comedown), I get mild pain under my right ribcage area.........it affects my relationships with people(?)
That's the first time I've put the list into reality!! It's odd seeing it in front of me rather than at the back of my mind!!
My main problem in life is getting motivation and interest to do things to move me on, anyone got any motivation pills???
Well thats another good step.. Realisation is really the first step.. If you are unconcious of a problem you can do nothing about it. Denial is a form of unconciousness really..
Well i cant really comment further today cos i just had a drink.. ..
Glad you are back here, and that you are looking at the details of your drinking, could relate to the memory of that dull pain under my right rib cage, that is where our livers sit, and when they are inflamed, they hurt, you might want to check that out with your Doctor. And more than anything I just want to say Welcome back, you left for a while.
And to the other Rob,
Was thinking of you going to the same store to buy Fresca and Chips, made me think of that old saying around here, "If you keep going back to the Barber Shop, You will get a haircut". Just something to think about.
I could not even stand driving past the liquor store, that I frequented, in the beginning, it only took a while for me to change my preceptions of those bottles. They now have a Skull and Crossbone, when I walk down a liquor isle in a store.
Hope you both have a great Sunday, well it's early Sunday here, not there, so I hope that you had a good Sunday.
I could not even stand driving past the liquor store, that I frequented, in the beginning,
There is an offi almost opposite the road that leads to my house.. actualy there is another way round but that leads past the road that leads to the supermarket.. .. basicaly i almost have to pass both stores i buy drink from to get home!!.. couldnt even avoid them by foot, not possible
You took a drink? I just wanted to let you know that I struggled to get more than 1 week sober. I can relate to mistermook about the financial part of it. Once I ran out of money I ran out of booze and other stuff. Once I ran into money I was right back at it. The big book refers to this disease as cunning,baffling, and powerful. How true that is. One other thing is that this disease is very patient. Speaking for myself I know I must go to meetings all the time otherwise I'm gonna be back out there. That thought scares the hell out of me.
Shit happens on a daily basis. The question is how am I going to react to it.
I have some friends who have gastroenteritis,, the booze made their stomach all raw and they throw up blood,,, still not motivated to dry out. got cirrhosis and stomach all bloated and eyes all yellow,,, still not motivated. Like the ones who smoke and have to have oxygen,, all blue, and they turn their oxygen off to have a ciggy,,, still not motivated. That guy here who locked himself in his bedroom and just drank for 20 days until he died,,, didn't get motivated. The bottom is wherever we stop digging,,, and some people don't stop digging till they are six feet under. The shovel is their bottle.
sad, very sad, .. wish I could make them stop,,, but I'm powerless,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
