Ok.. so its just gone 10pm.. the offlicense is now closed and im sober..
I tired as hell and going to bed soon.. Probably for the best.. probably dream about irish shellfish with italian names scuttling along a sandy beach.. and mabe something to do with pigs... lol..
Again Alcohol, you sleep alone out in the cold, sobriety will keep me warm tonight
Ditto, Rob. You are in our prayers. Well, in my case, petitions, LOL. I too loved what you said in the end. You make my heart get all achey. Not safe for an old woman like me yknow. I'm so happy for you this moment.....wren
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Funny, isn't it, how friends and a Power greater than ourselves can neutralize nightmares?
yea for you, Rob!! That dream? not bad... especially compared to Delirium Tremens dreams of bugs crawling on our skin. I used to work in a hospital, and have seen people go into the DT's after being admitted for one thing or other and being cut off of the booze.
I can tell the difference in your writing now, being sober,, and before, being drunk. You seem to have more clarity,, and you do have a poetic talent there. You gonna start to blossom now? hehe
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
when you read this post you would be on another day and no regrets for the day b4. no "oh god what did I do, who did I hurt" last night.
If you build a solid foundation, you can build anything you like on top of it, anything.
I hope you get the gift of sobriety. I had a chill when I heard that only 3% of Alcoholics make it to A.A and only 1% of them stay sober! oh +*/- I thought! but dont dispair! this is a drastically simple program you just need to follow a few simple steps. 90 meetings in 90 days and get phone numbers, above all else, enjoy it! when I first got sober, I was £300 up immediatly because I had no booze to pay for, I went shopping, got a game boy and all other +/*- that big kids like! got a guitar cd player all sorts. there was a time where I sold ALL my things at 1/10th of its value just to get a drink
Francesco hit it on the head. Booze is a liar and a thief. It will be your best friend for all (and I do mean ALL) of your money. It will promise you greatness and wealth, but always leaves you broken, shamed and broke.
I did a calculation once to figure how much money I spent on booze over 30 years, and what I might have, if I had put every penny wasted instead in a modest savings account.
My best estimate, with varying bank interest rates over that period time, and with my average consumption multiplied by the average inflation in booze prices over that same time, is that I would have over US$500,000 by now. (Something for you folks 20 to 30 years younger than me to ponder, eh?) Instead, I benefited a lot of bar, pub and off-sale owners with that money. I not only don't have half a million + dollars, but I also can look forward to extra medical expenses in my later years due to my dumb-ass neglect of my health over those years.
Please remember this post my young friends. and use it as incentive the next time the craving comes singing it's sweet promises of drunken bliss. It is a deceitful, thieving, cheating pretender that only wants your money and your life.
-- Edited by Sick of being sick at 20:57, 2006-04-05
"Please remember this post my young friends. and use it as incentive the next time the craving comes singing it's sweet promises of drunken bliss. It is a deceitful, thieving, cheating pretender that only wants your money and your life." yep.. put that up on the refridgerator. And we were so gullible at a young age too,,, and because it is cunning, and baffling,,, it was many years and a lot of damage later before we realized it.
Hey, Dan? How are you doing?
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Francesco hit it on the head. Booze is a liar and a thief. It will be your best friend for all (and I do mean ALL) of your money. It will promise you greatness and wealth, but always leaves you broken, shamed and broke. I did a calculation once to figure how much money I spent on booze over 30 years, and what I might have, if I had put every penny wasted instead in a modest savings account. My best estimate, with varying bank interest rates over that period time, and with my average consumption multiplied by the average inflation in booze prices over that same time, is that I would have over US$500,000 by now. (Something for you folks 20 to 30 years younger than me to ponder, eh?) Instead, I benefited a lot of bar, pub and off-sale owners with that money. I not only don't have half a million + dollars, but I also can look forward to extra medical expenses in my later years due to my dumb-ass neglect of my health over those years. Please remember this post my young friends. and use it as incentive the next time the craving comes singing it's sweet promises of drunken bliss. It is a deceitful, thieving, cheating pretender that only wants your money and your life.-- Edited by Sick of being sick at 20:57, 2006-04-05
Damn right mate, My friend in aa said use the £10 a day rule. well thats £70 a week £280 - £350 a month!!!
I was declared bankrupt in 2004 and I thought that would be enough to quit drinking, bearing in mind I had spent approx 30k on booze and kebabs alone.
no it wasnt, i hit another rock bottom very soon when I stole wine from the stoor. it was shamefull, it turned me into the devil.
my sponcer has advised me to eat well as well. and be kind to myself. most alcoholics are sensitive to suger. and he advises multi vits that sort of thing, no more dohnuts for me !!
it tells you more about it in a book called 7 weeks to sobriety- obviously the No-1 book to read is the big book. I must add this- I got the daily reflections off ebay, a great little book to read each day. 30p off ebay. great stuff. (like new)
Well done mate, now keep us all smiling as the example of strength that you are. You've motivated me to abstain from my weekend binge this weekend, I'll let you know how I get on
Nice day today! I am going to go for a sauna and them perhaps a swim, it is a good and easy life to be sober you know. You no longer need to struggle, just give up and surrender.
My dog was asleep on the leather sofa when I found him this morning, spoilt mut!!!
"If you build a solid foundation, you can build anything you like on top of it, anything."#
Hey!.. I like that! Makes alot of sense..
"What are your Interests Rob? what do you really like to do? what have you always wanted to do?"
Erm... Well i really wana get stuck into fishing.. .. Id like to be fishing at lakes and going down by the sea.. Id like to be abit fitter.. Id like to have clean and tidy uncluttered room. id like to have a clean and tidy car... and clean and tidy, unclutterd mind.. !.. Erm id like to get another job.. of some kinda..
Hmm a night of passion wouldnt go a miss.. but i think thats prob away away yet
Id like to get my money sorted and move my arse out of my parents house.. ffs almost 30 ya know!!
As for bigger ambitions.. i realy duno yet.. too early to say.. Hard to deal with todays shit let alone tomorrows.
Infact ill tell you what i really want.. and that is to actualy KNOW what i want to do... I NEVER HAVE DONE.. even before i started drinking.
Mmmm never had a sauna.. sounds nice..
"Well done mate, now keep us all smiling as the example of strength that you are. You've motivated me to abstain from my weekend binge this weekend, I'll let you know how I get on "
Thanx mate.. Hope you do ok.. Yeah let us know how you get on.. good or bad ok !.. Good luck!
Thanx to everyone else too..
Well today started out ok.. but most of it was pretty shit to be honest.. Mostly down to my state of mind i guess.. .. Stroppy, down, pissed off.. fed up.. emotional.. TIRED.. Alot prob due to withdrawls etc.. too busy thinking how empty my life is rather than thinking of how full it might be one day..
I was told id be out in the van most the day.. Took the first load out.. but due to a mis comunication between manager and people i was deliverying to they coudlnt take the stuff and i had to bring it all back.. which made me laugh at the time.. and i didnt realy care.. but cos of the probs i didnt get to go back out and was stuck in with the usual two people and i wasnt in the mood for that shit today.. so i just kinda shut up and didnt talk much.. just walked around with a long misserable, fed up, pissed off look on my face..
Looking forward to sleep again tonight.. Last night was better, still had the sweats abit, but the half a ONE A NIGHT NYTOL helped.. didnt have time for a shower this morning. doh!.... I was so tired this morning gees.. When i got to work.. one of the women goes "you alright" i said i was just really tired.. she goes "bloody hell you looked like you were about to burst into tears you're so tired!".. ..i wasnt gona cry, lol, but i guess i could have looked like that.
Woke up abit later.. But tiredness helped my moodiness... I think i over did it abit with the walk on sunday.. along with everything else.. well i guess going for a long walk im not used too then drinking too much.. and stress of going to meeting that day all added up.
But im ok.. i havent bought any drink.... . . .. . . .. . .. ... . .. ...yet
Hey anybody seen Ice Age 2 Meltdown? i wana see that.. loved the first one.. its just come out at the cinemas here..
rob i just LOVE that "alcohol sleeping out in the cold" .....that is soo true...
u keep hangin in there, my friend, and keep talking becuz that is how i find my strength to "keep on keepin on" doing this family of origin and inner child pain is a buggar, but i am doing it sober and i attribute ALL that to my HP and this great group.
yea for you, Rob!! That dream? not bad... especially compared to Delirium Tremens dreams of bugs crawling on our skin. I used to work in a hospital, and have seen people go into the DT's after being admitted for one thing or other and being cut off of the booze. I can tell the difference in your writing now, being sober,, and before, being drunk. You seem to have more clarity,, and you do have a poetic talent there. You gonna start to blossom now? hehe love in recovery, amanda
Hopefully amanda.. Thanx
Not sure bout the poetic talent though.. just the odd thought i guess.. if i get the inspiration..
Well,, so today had some bad spots in it... such is life... life has its ups and downs,,, but the ups are better sober, and the ups are not as good drunk, while the downs are not as down sober, and the downs are worse while drunk. So having some difficulties in the day doesn't mean its time to go back drinking,,, it means to work the Steps to get through the stuff in a good way... like remembering the slogans such as 'easy does it', and 'this too shall pass',,, what we call the 'tools' for sober living,, we learn better coping skills. So, actually, it is time to go to some meetings,, and to keep sharing with us here.... we are on the recovery journey together.
God bless you,
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
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