After hitting my 'rock bottom' mid January, a couple weeks later I found myself sitting in a dark corner of my first AA meeting. I didn't really think at the time I was an Alcoholic...but looking back, I must have or why would I have gone? lol Since that first meeting I've not looked back....I'm acutely aware that I am powerless over Alcohol-my life had become unmanageable! I go 3 nights a week and twice on weekends. They have become vital to my continued sobriety....like the air I need to breath, these meetings give me life! 2 weeks ago I got my 2 month Chip and I'm now looking for a Sponsor. In the meantime I use the numbers I have been given, I read my Big Book, Living Sober, and a plethra of Grapevines. These things keep me sober, one moment at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time!
What you are doing is right on! Oh yes, those meetings are so important. Those first months are when I made the deepest and most meaningful discoveries and friendships of my life. I have never heard anybody say " I went to too many meetings and got drunk", LOL.
One of my favorite books in the beginning was (is) Living Sober. My Big Book is beat to death and so marked up it looks like I inherited it from an ancestor in the 1700s. And, the 12x12.
How wonderful when a newcomer arrives and reminds me of how bright and shiny the world really is when shared thru their eyes. It reminds me to look again at how blessed I am. I hope you will continue to share with us, and yes, the right sponsor will appear. I've had the same sponsor for over twenty years, and we now live in different states. (thank heavens for flat rate long distance). And at first? She was so hard core when I'd meet her at meetings, I was scared to death of her, and never thought I'd ask her to sponsor me. But hard core was and is what I need, and I've never regreted picking her. Well, maybe a few times--she is brutally truthful, LOL. Again, welcome! And congrats on that two month chip! Blessings, Wren
__________________
Funny, isn't it, how friends and a Power greater than ourselves can neutralize nightmares?
And Welcome to this Board, I agree with Wren, good to see and be reminded of those fresh awakening days.
And those emotions that you described as a train wreck, sounds like the train is Really on Schedule. They do start, kind of like a collidiscope, eh?
It gets better, and good luck finding just the right person to Sponsor you, it will happen. And congratulations on 2 months, and that not looking back part.
Thanks so much, Phil and Wren. One of the things I love about AA is the feeling of "belonging" right from the start!
Wren...yes, by all means, my name is Dana so feel free to call me that!
Thanks for your encouragement...I have the 12x12 too and I'm enjoying it. To be honest, I did have a Sponsor but had to let her go as it became clear we weren't right for each other as a Sponsee/Sponsor relationship. She remains a dear friend though and I'm thankful for that. With her I did do up to Step 3...but felt I was going too fast...that whole "Easy does it" and "First things First" is plastered around my house cuz I need the constant reminder because once the light goes on in my head, I run full steam ahead. I have quite the load of things that have to be dealt with all at once-my marriage, my mom's ill health, and my sobriety. But I've been learning the importance of putting my sobriety first. Anyhow...thanks again.
And those emotions that you described as a train wreck, sounds like the train is Really on Schedule.
Thank you Toni.....I needed to hear this!!!! It's been real hard coping with them....but recently I was reminded of Acceptance...page 417, I believe, in the 4th edition Big Book:
furthermore: "...unless I accept life comletely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
So this is where I'm at...trying my best to accept where I'm at, emotions run amuck at time even, because I'm right where I am supposed to be-living in God's World, not "Dana's World".
