Im scared shitless of my next meeting.. i really am. but i am looking forward to it. scared as i am.... i have to do this.. ...i really hope things start to make more sense.... im still drinking..ffs.. toniht was such a possitive thing!!.. i really cant convey how much it scared the shit out of me..but i can moveon from that... i want my life back....Rob
Hey Rob, I read your other post. Congratulations on going to the meeting, and you found the other meeting place also. Keep going, it will get easier and things will begin to make sense. Call Alan , people only give you numbers if they really want you to call.
Like already stated you are worth it, you are important and you do help us all. If we forget where we came from , we might end up there again.
I'm so excited for you, you are on a one day at a time journey.
i drank last night. its 05:04 this morning.. im not sober yet.. though not completely off my trolley.. work is gona be a nighmtare today..ffs.. but im not driving.. managed to get a lift.. but hes doing overtime so i gota get up earlier.. gota get up in just under an hour i think.. and i think hes stayin on to do overtime tonight.. so gona be along .. shitty day.. i am gona check list to see if there is a meetin i can make tonight.. still scared..
Pissed off with myself for drinking last night.. i thought that perhaps the night id have my first meeting that it would put my mind in the right frame for alteast that night. but i drank my usual and woke up feeling shit..FFS!!
Thanx for all you've said.. ill prob post again tonight.. if the shame lets me..
Take it easy with the guilt and crap, will you? You are doing some right moves. You will do more if you can just keep getting to meetings. And keep posting. You may not believe this, but you are helping me not take a drink. I'm reminded of my first hours, days and weeks of the beginning of a completely different life. I still fear things nearly daily. But the AA taught me how to deal with. Stay with us, o.k? Paul
Rob you are a hoot! You got me chuckling. It almost sounds like you celibrated going to an AA meeting by Getting drunk! Don't be ashamed trying to help yourself. Everyone in the rooms of AA where drinking or still are. I hope your hangover was not too bad today,but too I hope it reminds you how hard alcohol can be on our lives. I work hard Rob,but there would be no way in hell that I could work,raise kids and still be drinking. Drinking takes up a lot of time even when we do not drink. My hang over prevented me to do a lot of fun stuff with the kids on the weekends. I'm sooooooo happy I don't drink any more!!!
Hi.. Thanx everyone.. well i kinda posted.. quite a long post actualy in my other thread "I actualy made it to a meeting" a few mins ago so if you wana know how im doing etc then best to read that one..
Im glad that i am helping you in ways too by telling you guys how i am and what im feeling etc..
I wont say anymore because the other post in the other thread says alot.
Actualy tonight iv done f**k all.. iv.. well id did do some shit in garage and car.but iv packed bugger all. i guess clothes wise i dont need much but i do need to rem some stuf... ffs.. tomorrow at t-breaks and lunch break i am gona write list of shit i am gona need.. wont be too bad i dont thik.. im not goign for long.. as long as i take night time stuff.. + money.. + fishing stuff.. i will be ok.. fishing is the main thing i wana do.. most of it will be just practicing casting etc.. prob wont catch much.. if i just catch one fish ill be happy but even if i catch fuck all ill still be ok.. just to get away.. i miss the place so much.. SHELL ISLAND.. is like MY PLACE...i love it..
I will make my list tomorrow and tomorrow night i will have to pack and work like a bitch.. shouldnt be too bad as i said.. cos just for couple of days..
ffs... toniht i have drank but spent most of night on here.. this website....
hi, rob... I'm glad you're spending time posting here, and packing... keeping you busy with good stuff. I really appreciate your efforts now. I like to fish too, and camping.
God bless you,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
