Hi All, It has been a very long time since I have posted. I am still in sobriety November 8th 2015 was my last drink and I am proud of my achievements. I have started recently thinking about having a drink but I always quickly dismiss it and carry on. I have missed a few meetings as grew tired of some of the content. I used to post all the time on here so gonna give it another go
It's good to hear from you, Neal. I'm glad were in such great company.
M.I.P is more than just a recovery forum. It has become an extension of my family for the last 6 years. It's also become a secondary source of inspiration for Alcoholics and addicts alike. And I know that tradition will continue.
I know a thing or two about disillusionment, having been an active member of A.A for over 14 years now. In a perfect world things would run smoothly, but there's no such thing as perfection. A.A should be no different. Adopting a negative attitude just to evaluate someone's reaction or practicing what others preach before it passes the litmus test seems a bit unrealistic, not to mention, counterproductive. Conceptually, it doesn't make any sense. So why even go there.
I try to disengage entirely from that circle of thought, worry less about the labeling, and focus simply on consequences. Then, I render my own interpretation and simply move on. It has kept me sane for the last 14 years.
Famous pianist, Arthur Rubinstein, was a skilled musician and visionary. He was also a accomplished speaker. One quote in particular stands out above the rest: "There is no specific formula for success other than an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings". How true. The words people use to describe success may vary from individual to individual, but the promises that keep this program alive will never fade away.
Let me see: You've been sober since November, you're sounding much healthier now, and you're turning your life around...what's not to like.
This is just a temporary burden, my friend, so try not to let it grind you down too much. Nothing happens by chance and miracles are more than just random occurrences. So remain our little miracle, okay. I know everything will pay off in the end, it always does. Onward.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 21st of March 2016 01:00:43 AM
Good to hear from you, Fennermeister. Glad to hear Yer still off the sauce. It took me over a year before I REALLY started getting clear and feeling halfway normal. (I don't think I'll ever feel 100% normal. Normal sucks. Normal is for boring people. Halfway normal is a good happy medium. If you start feelin too normal, you'll start thinkin it's ok to drink again).
Again, congrats. Glad you came back and posted. I was thinking about you the last time I was reading the board.
Ps....hope the anxiety stuff is subsiding for you.
Thank you both for your great replies. I am positive that one drink will lead me to nothing but heartache and keep this thought every time drink being ok for me enters my head. The boredom or thought that I have become boring is the thing that I really struggle with. I just keep all the things that I have achieved at the forefront of my mind and try and carry on maybe in time I won't feel like that
Welcome back Neal! I'm like you in that I have posted in the past and don't post that much now. My sobriety date is October 9, so I'm just a few days longer than you. I'm also in that 'doldrums' period where I occasionally think that a beer might taste good but I'm able to avoid it. I heard, at a meeting when I picked up my 3 month chip, a wise gentleman say that I ought to always try to remember what it was like going back to the time I had my last drink and if possible to try and compare the 3 months prior to stopping with the 3 months since and then to carry that on with 4 months, 5 months, etc and even spend some time writing those memories down so I won't forget what it was like. That helped me quite a bit.
I've also come to see that many of the meetings I've attended sort of leave me feeling flat for whatever reason. I determined to refocus my attention on working with my sponsor and my step work. This is helping me get back on building my spiritual health. I want to be happy, joyous and free. Right now, meetings aren't really getting me to that point. But focusing on the steps is helping to ease that feeling of boredom as you so aptly called it.
I'll help you however I can Neal. 4 plus months is a miraculous amount of sobriety. We're here for you friend!
-- Edited by Troy on Monday 21st of March 2016 05:47:48 AM
It is good to hear from both of you, Fenners and Neal. Congrats to both of you for your sober time.
I became too dependent on the meetings and the people in the meetings to help me stay sober. That didn't work. I have since become dependent on my HP, who is God for me, to help me. There is really no one and there is nothing no person can say --in or out of the meetings--who can keep me sober.
I came to AA to start sobriety several times before I was able to open my ears and listen ... the last time, I knew I had run out of options, it was AA or death, pure and simple ... I was able to get a few months here and there before this last time ... I always thought with a few months sober, I can now 'control' my drink'n ... I could not ... it may have taken a few days, but I always wound up as bad as before, if not worse ... always ...
it took me about a year work'n the steps with my sponsor to experience that 'spiritual awakening' that's mentioned in the BB ... and ever since, I've been 100% for our program for anyone want'n to be released from the bondage of alcohol ... the first year will have a lot of confusing moments for you, some will make you want to throw up your hands and give up, don't, cause it may be that you give up just before the miracle happens ... (the miracle that your 'desire' to drink has been removed) ...
God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Good to hear from you.I can only suggest staying close to those in daily recovery,get stuck in the solution(THE STEPS,guided by a sponsor and applied in all areas of life)if you are not and stay away from that 'FIRST ONE" a death sentence for US..Glad you stopped back in,stick around...
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
