I dreamed one night I passed away and left this world behind.
I started down that lonely trail some of my friends to find.
I came to a signboard on the trail, the directions it did tell.
Keep right to go to heaven, Turn left to go to hell.

I hadn't been to good on earth, just a hopeless boozing rake,
and knew there at the crossroads the path I'd have to take.
So I started on that rocky path that leads to Satan's place:
And I shook within not knowing just what I'd have to face.

Old Satan met me at the gate, "What's your name my friend?"
I said "I'm just old sober Sam that's come to a sad end."
He glanced through some yellow files, "You've mad a mistake I fear,
you're listed as an alcoholic, we do not want you here."

I said, "I'm looking for my friends." and a smile stole over his face.
"If your friends are alcoholics they're in the other place."
So I went back the way I came till the crossroads I did see.
Then turned right to heaven as happy as could be.

St Peter smiled and said "Come In, for you I have a berth.
You are an alcoholic you've been through hell on earth."
I saw ol' Bob and ol' Pat too. Bill R., and a friend called Bell,
and brother I was tickled, cause I thought they'd gone to hell.

So brothers and sisters all take warning learn something from my trip.
You've got a place in heaven if you try hard not to slip.
If someone tempts you with a drink when you're not feeling well,
tell them you're going to heaven, And they can go to hell!