"AA is a spiritual program and a spiritual way of life. Even the first half of the First Step, 'We admitted we were powerless over alcohol,' is a spiritual experience. An AA member needs more than physical capabilities; he needs the use of his full faculties as a human being to hear the message, to think about it, to review the effects of the past, to realize, to admit, and to accept. These processes are activities of the mind, which is part of the spirit." p. 3
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
"to review the effects of the past, to realize, to admit, and to accept. These processes are activities of the mind, which is part of the spirit."
............AMEN, amanda...until i was REALLY ready to admit/ accept that i WAS really powerless over the effects of my abuse, the drinking i did to numb my pain, etc, the "isms" personality i have and my NEED for a power greater than myself, i as stuck!! i came to believe in my head, but it would be MONTHS later b4 the heart knowledge came in.......i just kept working the program, and kept hangin in there and FINALLY i really did "come to believe" and finally step 3.....i first came to be WILLING to give over....now i CRAVE to give over what i cannot do on my own power..............gr8 post, ur friend in recovery, rosie
My own experience was a Personal Deep Surrender to God, it came before my Commitment to AA. it was the surrendering of my own will. That took me several years of self abuse to get to that point, holding on to my will, had taken me through my whole life, so I thought, and I needed to surrender, which did finally happen. And asking God to show me a different way of living.
Looking back, I think I was looking my own mortality from going thru the experience of my Compulsion to pick up a drink, being so much larger than me, and was at the end of the line with wanting to go on in my life, as the active drunk that I was. My own moment in time where to bring my life to an end was what i wanted, but was not capable of completing that 3rd attempt. "I would rather die, than go on like this". I will always believe it was God that was listening.
I believe I had tapped into my very own deepest belief in God, that had always eluded me with thoughts of "If there is a God, he surely wants nothing to do with me" was my thinking. But my thinking was over ridden by my own deeper spirit inside, waiting to be freed. It was not a thinking surrender that took place, but a deep heart felt, very mysterious surrender to a belief in a Loving God, the birth of this new Belief, that had been buried with layers and layers of fear over-riding any belief. Fear, I believe has a "Life of its own" does not have anything to do with anything really, It is just a Paralizing Emotion.
Someone stated in a Lecture once, That when Fear is Active, all other emotions will be blocked off. Wow, could I relate to that. During my life, when ever I had a feeling of being happy, it was the Fear that "this won't last long" would overcome and suffocate the happy moments in my life. Rendering me more or less a "Hostage to the Fear"
When I surrendered to a Loving God, of my understanding, it was for the first time in my life that I could experience the possibility of this new Belief in a Loving God, as something that was greater than my Fear driven existance. It was very mysterious, I cannot explain how it came to be, but that is how it happened to this Alcoholic. I was no longer just a Drunk, but I was now an Alcoholic, that was going to use my Trust in this new Emotion, not a thought for me, but an Emotion, and I would let that new mysterious Belief in my heart go after and tackle all of my erroreous thoughts. So the 12 Steps of Recovery began, and continue in my life today.
This made me remember back how in the beginning, I had to surrender to a Power greater than myself. There certainly was a great deal of fear involved, because I was still in the mind set of refusing to take responsibility myself. I had blamed God, parents, children, spouses---life itself---for my substance abuse. So turning my life over to God was difficult. I had no trust in Him. So I acted "as if". Thought "as if". And eventually, the surrender came. " Here, I cannot do this on my own". I was able to quit alot of the struggling that comes in the beginning. The real miracles began happening for me personally when I not only developed a spiritual life (for the first time in 30 years), but realized that for me, my Higher Power was not only Transcendent and "out there" but that I was surrounded by my HP. Instead of, oh, like looking up to someone, my HP became a companion, something more personal. But it was absolutely necessary in the beginning (for me) to have him be an external force that was stronger than me and my addiction, because I knew I certainly wasn't. "Here, take my life and do with it what you will." Releasing control of an uncontrollable life. Now my HP is both the One holding my life in their hands, and the One holding my hand. Make sense? Now, I know that this is just my spiritual experience. I do not have a religion. My BB and my program are my church and bible. If someone had told me I had to go to a physical church, believe in a biblical God, I may have started running and be running still. For others, it is exactly what they need. That's one of the things I love about all of us, is our diversity. You can take a hundred of us, put us in the same room, and we each have our own perseptions on the beauty of our HP. And it works. Wren
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Funny, isn't it, how friends and a Power greater than ourselves can neutralize nightmares?
I just wanted to say how much I agree with your last statement. We all come in and have a slightly different view on many many things to do with this 12 Step Program, and Viva la Difference.
How we come to grow in this Program, on the same Path really, as if say 100 Alcoholics are walking up a beautiful Mountain Road, the scenery is really the same, but our preceptions of that scenery will be different.
You know that old saying of man is made up of Body, Mind and Spirit, well I preceive us, Alcoholics as..... Spirit, Body and Mind. Just a slight variation.......and just my "take".......... Glad to see you Posting. Good to have you here with us, love what you bring.
-paul