Alcoholics Anonymous
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: hi


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 24
Date:
hi
Permalink  
 


i am thinking maybe i haven't come to the right place?, have i scared you off?


 



__________________
life is like a box of chocolates, sometimes it get's sticky!!


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 200
Date:
Permalink  
 

No, actually Fluffy, I have been sitting in my chair thinking about what you've written. Honestly? It made my heart ache, and it made my stomach roll. It took me back to the times I sat in my living room and watched as my oldest son tried to take care of his little sister and brother because I just couldn't on that particular afternoon. I remember the husband that loved me so much coming home from work to me too drunk to fix him a meal, and how patiently he would fix supper, feed the kids, give them their baths, and put them to bed because " Mommy isn't feeling too good tonight". I thought of how I pushed him away, even though I loved him, because I didn't believe I deserved him or my beautiful children. And at the time, couldn't conceive of changing my life in such a way that I could deserve them. It was because I didn't have the grasp of how to believe in myself and my relationship with my Higher Power. And because I truly didn't know, I left them before they could ( I thought) leave me, and told myself I was doing us all a favor. Well, I wasn't. But it took me a few more years to find that out.


A dozen times a day, sometimes, I turn my self-will over to the care of my Higher Power. I have to. And some days my relationship with my HP is such that I feel our relationship to be totally symbiotic. There is no division between us. I went thru weeks where I've gotten up in the morning and sworn that I couldn't deal with another day, but managed to by not allowing myself to take a drink. And I have weathered the insanity that life sometimes brings to us all. There were surely times where I strongly doubted that there was a higher power anywhere in the known universe, and so I have simply trusted in the void, literally, and refused that first drink. Because I've always known that first drink would steal away the rest of my life, and I probably wouldn't even know it was happening.  Call a close friend and get to a meeting. Even if you can't hear at this point, get there, hold on, and don't drink. So simple, yet nearly impossible, eh? But it is the only thing that ends the insanity. But no, you are not alone and I truly am feeling what you're going thru right now.  Wren  ps: my apologies, Flumpy, I got a bit rattled there and got your name wrong....



-- Edited by Wren at 17:36, 2006-03-09

__________________
Funny, isn't it, how friends and a Power greater than ourselves can neutralize nightmares?


MIP Old Timer

Status: Offline
Posts: 1349
Date:
Permalink  
 

hi, flumpy...  you haven't scared me off either,,,  I just got here and saw your post. I'll be checking into the chat room now and then over the next week. There was another post about doing that.


I agree with wren that drinking is not a good solution,,, but one that will only make things worse.


I'm praying for you, dear.


love in recovery,


amanda



__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.