I didn't realize how dishonest I was before I entered recovery. I had half truths and misleading by omission down to a fine art, and by the end of my drinking and using I was even good at deceiving myself. I didn't know it then, but the practice of being rigorously honest was the cornerstone of my recovery, and without it I never would have gotten sober.
Another thing I didn't realize before recovery was how intolerant I was of other people, places and things. Once I began looking at myself, I found that my first reactions were to judge, reject and condemn others. What I discovered was that my intolerance was a defense mechanism covering my deep feelings of inferiority and shame, and it wasn't until I discarded these that I began to live comfortably in my own skin.
What I've learned over the years is that if I want to remain comfortable and sober, I've got to continue to practice tolerance. Now when I feel like judging or condemning others, I quickly look within and ask if I'm scared or if I'm feeling less than. Once I'm honest with myself, I'm able to deal with these feelings, and this always restores me to tolerance of myself and others.
Today I realize that honesty got me sober, but that tolerance keeps me that way.
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Copyright @ 2015 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'