For example have you had any previous experience with AA and are you familiar with things like the "12 Traditions" of AA?
Are you hoping to start this meeting in a highly populated area that already has lots of meetings and a well established AA fellowship, or in a remote area with no other meetings around and no regular contact between other AA members?
Have you already seen the information about this on the AA.org site?
If you want to start a group then the 12 traditions provide a good guide. Particulary tradition three:
Three Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affi liation.
Literature and banners can be purchased from your nearest service centre or general service office.
Before starting a group or another meeting it is wise to have a look at whether there is a real need and take into account tradition 4:
With respect to its own affairs, each A.A. group
should be responsible to no other authority than its own
conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of
neighboring groups also, those groups ought to be con-
sulted. And no group, regional committee, or individual
should ever take any action that might greatly affect A.A.
as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the
General Service Board. On such issues our common wel-fare is paramount
For this reason I have only ever been part of starting one group and one meeting in 25 years. We already had plenty and to start new ones would have damaged other groups and AA as a whole.
I will be spending a year in Malaysia near a city called Lumut. I intend to start some AA activity because there is no group there at present and a lot of ex pats. There may be a need. I will consult with AA Malaysia to see whether it will be best to start a stand alone group or maybe a meeting attached to an existing nearby group which would provide support especially in my absence.
Notice I draw a distinction between meetings and groups. My home town has around 60 meetings a week, but only about 4 functioning groups.
What is the difference? A meeting exists for one hour each week and is only a small part of what AA has to offer. A group, on the other hand, can offer its members meetings, sponsorship, opportunities for service, 12th step work, institutional meetings, opportunities to carry the message into detox, step study, big book study and on and on. In other words the members have the opportunity to experience the 4th dimension of existence the big book talks about. There are not too many groups like this around, but when you attend one of their meetings you can see the result in the eyes of their members.
On the other hand, all you need to start a meeting is a cup of coffee and a resentment.
-- Edited by Fyne Spirit on Monday 19th of October 2015 07:49:43 PM
Oh wow Fyne - In our city it was the exact opposite. The 2 groups ended up being the ones who sexually abused newcomer woman, had strict guidelines for people to be approved of and socially accepted - such as you are not allowed to miss any of the groups meetings, you must have a certain number of service commitments, you must have a sponsor and a sponsee at 6 months etc etc, a strict dress code of suit and tie for men, and dress or skirt only for woman, and a place for the old timers to find cheap labor for themselves out in the real world....... and their beginning was started on a resentment! The 2 groups were both lead by 2 men who had a resentment or disagreement with each other 20ish years back, broke into their own groups, and maintained the resentment and enemy status for decades.
I would die to see a group like you speak about! Wow. Of course, I have long known that the town I began in - has not been the AA norm. I did end up in one without realizing what I was doing. Today I see it as an amazing part of what built my recovery into what I cherish today. I am positive today, that no matter what - no matter how awful 'my medicine' I will never give up on my sobriety. I will never give up on me. Much like a cancer patient will not always love the medicine either, and much of what makes them stronger - will make them much sicker for a while.
I was getting sicker and sicker after the sexual harassment, abuse, almost taking a job from one of the elders before realizing that cleaning peoples homes is not part of AA service work (not that cleaning can't be part of a service to humanity, or within AA, I have cleaned out many toilets in AA club houses - just not for someone else's profit). And then the day I went to a meeting with my husband where we were escorted to a back cubicle with prisoners in uniform because we were not dressed up appropriately. I met some really interesting people back there, and today I am still grateful for all it.
I often wonder if people really need to be warned of this kind of stuff in AA. I am always wondering about those who tell me I am to only speak of the nice things as to not scare away newcomers. How am I to know what is most supportive? I still believe being open and honest is most supportive. Sharing my experience, no matter how much it may curl the ears of others, honestly. If it weren't for the few mothers who shared some horrors that I could relate to - openly, without fear, and honestly - I might still live in ego thinking I am the worst woman on earth. And as far as a warning, I feel the most supportive thing is honesty too. I never was warned, and I turned out resentment free and happy. I speak about my experience just as openly and honestly as those who had different more posh experiences. I don't feel sorry for myself, I still believe it was all exactly perfect for me.
People and woman especially are always big on warning each, and my sponsor was big on warning people about these 'groups'. She would cringe when people 'fell away, or fell pray'. It seemed to me like she didn't have faith that a Higher power had things as needed. I truly believe we need the dark to appreciate the dawn. I fully anticipate the day that I come into contact with one of the heavenly groups fyne speaks about. I will appreciate it and revel in it so much more! I know that my capacity to feel disgust, pain and suffering, is directly related to my feeling of feeling joy, love at the release of these dysfunctions. It only represents my human potential and depth. What a blessing, to experience life so deeply.
I'm so grateful for the varied experiences offered here. I could never know that the meetings aren't the safe haven, and the groups aren't like hell - if it wasn't from experiences offered like this.
I will forever be grateful to this message board.
xoxo Thank you all.
-- Edited by justadrunk on Tuesday 20th of October 2015 09:52:14 AM
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Thanks for your reply Jad. The group I was involved in starting was a Primary Purpose Group. We started with a Big Book study and the idea was to develop further opportunities for members to experience all that AA has to offer, through prisons, detox, 12 step work. We knew that any group is vulnerable to emotional ambush and can be turned upside down via an unscheduled "group conscience" etc, so we set out with a sort of constritution, elected officers, and a few guidelines around group conscience that would allow all members to have a say and think about things before any drastic action was taken. We had experienced officers buddied with young alternates who were trained to take over, and the service positions were subject to regular rotation so everyone got a turn if they wanted one. Service being its own reward. All this was kept in a minute book, and we also had a book of contact details for those who wished to be members of the .
See, it all sounds good so far, but what is also needed is a strong core group conscience who understand why and how the group was formed in the first place. I left town after six months, one or two of the older members left, the minute book was lost, a unscheduled group conscience changed the format of the meetings and abandoned activities other than the meeting, so you could say it lost its way fairly quickly. It is still quite a good big book study meeting, but it doesn't put what it learns into effect, and the members miss out.
I would say that you could start a new group like this if you had good reasons and could find enough reliable members to make up a solid core. Then you must be prepared to stick with it and face down those who will come along and try and water it all down.
There is another example of a group called spiritual concepts. It is Primary Purpose in everything but name. They have a wonderful discussion group on sunday mornings and also run a steps meeting and a big book study on other nights. In addition they run three institutional (detox and hospital) meetings each week and actively particpate in AA as a whiole. This is one of the most attractive groups I have ever been to. So many opportunities to experience the rewards fo sobriety. If I moved to that city, it would be my first choice as a home group. And the most telling thing is newcomers, men and women stay and recover. All members are treated with the greatest respect and there is no requiremnt for any kind of conformity other tha suffering from alcoholism.
There was another group that was a bit like those two you described. Very unattractive. When they get that far from the traditions, they usually fall over. Each group is autonomous, but each member can change his or her group any time they like. Maybe there is a need for a new group in your area. But it will be tough to get it going and would require support from other mebers, and a bit of help from God. One of those things to pray about. Would this be something that God would want me to do?
Thank you Mike, I no longer live there, but yes, unattractive is a good name, and in my heart I knew that a 20 run run is pretty amazing for something like that. I felt too it was inevitable that it would implode and I didn't need to run around trying to fix it or warn people. At one point when I first found the courage to break away, I was very filled with anger, and a need to somehow destroy it. I learned a lot about gossip being a personal spiritual killer no matter how much I tried to guise it under 'saving people' or doing good, and I learned a lot about forgiveness being for me, and my spiritual condition. I believe today that I can completely forgive and let live, while disliking something, which directly prepared me for the abuse my toddler daughter would endure from her babysitter while I was trying to save my life at these meetings. Sigh.
Had that not happened, I would not have been brave enough to move out of state, and I can only imagine what this stepping stone will lead to. For me the emotional ties I had to my home state and family were so strong, but only something like this was finally stronger. And this truly is what I always wanted however the pain of leaving was always stronger than the pain of staying. Now the pain of staying was finally stronger, and I am somehow feeling gently nudged along a path by the Universe toward a beautiful destiny that I wasn't quite able to find on my own.
Thanks be to the powers that be.
Blessings
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
