Thanks for the interest, you guys really do have quite a special environment hereIt feels like I`ve lost an arm without the family here, keeping busy with work etc. Just got in from a run, we are right on the NW coast and the air is incredibly fresh and bracing. I have this itch that I can`t scratch, as so many of you have stated you cannot pickle a cucumber and bring it back to life, so I`ll have to accept that mild, or otherwise I`ve done some damage. Tomorrow is 4 weeks without a drink, I suppose I thought I`d feel incredibly different, but after the euphoria that I`d taken on the fight head on, sobriety in so many ways is now facing/hitting me. I am annoyed with myself, you really do not realise the damage, for years I`ve thought "Oh I`ll cut back...." now I`ve given up I`ve had my fun and I`ll have to learn to pay for it...
Although it is true you can't turn a pickle back into a cucumber, it really does get better. My first 90 days I thought I was losing it most of the time. Forgot stuff a lot! Names of co workers I'd sat beside for years! Forgot complete sentences. Once, went down to the local quickie mart pumped a tank full of gas and then couldn't find my purse! I'd left it at home. Luckily the folks at the store know me.....I couldn't sleep much. Had crazy dreams and they were so vivid and wild some nights. Then went total opposite, all I wanted to do was sleep. I still have days where (and I say this all the time b/c it's true) I need a nap to get ready for bed. But it all has gotten better. The fog will lift, so you just hang on..........one day at the time
I'm so glad you're here w/us.
Love and hugs.
__________________
* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
hey, Pauly.. if the price we pay is to be in AA recovery and to learn to live a better life... it is worth the cost... I Promise. Being sober and in recovery and living a better life is sooo much better than continuing to pickle ourselves.
Good for you on your 4th week!
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Weird dreams.., some days just feeling plain antsy.., other days just wanting to hole up like a hermit and shut the world out.....still happens to me too, even after months of sobriety. I feel it's just part of finally getting reaquainted with the real me, learning to live with me in my own skin.
On the other hand, being sober still has it's moments where I can see something beautiful, hear a great melody, taste some great food, smell a bouquet of flowers, or sit in a sheltered nook in a warm ray of sunshine, and feel exhileration far greater than I ever could have when I was drinking.
PS. It may be true that you can't un-pickle a cucumber, but you CAN dry it out if you keep it out of the crock long enough!