I know sometimes when particular people say hello, or are friendly with particular people it can make other people feel left out. My name was mentioned today cuz Rick noticed we were both online, and we tried to get into chat. It wasn't really a private thing between him and me.
But I want to say a hearty 'hello' to everyone who reads the message board. There are some people I haven't seen in a while,,, and I know some people who just read and don't post, and the rest of the people who have posted recently.
God bless you all, each and every one!
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
amanda2u2 wrote: It wasn't really a private thing between him and me.
It is OK with me if it is a "private thing" between anyone here! I've been out of high school for quite a number of years now!
I exhange personal emails with some MIPs b/c I relate more to them and I just down right like them. That doesn't mean I dislike or feel left out with others. This is definately a "we" program, the key word here is PROGRAM, BUT it's human nature to "click" with some and not others........ I dont' think there was need for an explantion.......
Hey Phil, Welcome Back, my friend.
Doll
-- Edited by Doll at 18:03, 2006-02-17
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
"I know sometimes when particular people say hello, or are friendly with particular people it can make other people feel left out."
This sounds like favortisim to me. I have been reading this board for a couple of weeks now and I have noticed there is a clique with only a certain few. The rest of the people are not important. This sure reminds me of school days.
Well, Hello there, HELEN. WELCOME. Wow! You must get ragged a lot about your belly button being 6 6 66 --- ewwww, poor gal...... Some folks just "click" sometimes..As an adult I see it for what it is, and not school stuff. Doesn't bother me in the least. Shouldn't bother anyone else. If it does, maybe they need to take a little personal inventory...... However, I'm glad you're here, HELEN, and sure hope you stick around and share your ES&H w/us.
I have read and reread posts here, I don't see "favortism" from a "few" so would you mind pointing out to me which posts? and which "few" ?
thanks, HELEN.
Doll
The Little Red Book for Women
"Feeling the need to be perfect, comparing our progress with what we assume is the progress another woman has made, is one of the dangers we face. Women have been comparing themselves with others since childhood. The habit is not easily broken. Yet we must compare our progress today with where we were yesterday and look at other women as examples, just as we are serving as examples. The improved life we seek comes through "showing up for it," not wishing it were like another woman's life. "
pp 92
-- Edited by Doll at 06:48, 2006-02-18
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
I tend to be more of a reader than a post-er. That's just me. When I do post, I know that I have a tendency to really blather on and on. (Love to climb on my soapbox---just call me Soapbox Socrates--- )
I am interested in what anyone here has to say. I have had times when I agreed with what any one of my friends here have said. I have had other times when I have disagreed with what one or another of them has said. On that--ENUF SAID!
When I post something to an individual here, it's much the same if I come upon a group of friends on the street corner. I may say "h"i to all of them on greeting, but may likely end up in discussion with one or two of them. And, like with my friends on the corner, I have no problem with anyone else joining in the conversation. (Like earlier when Phil and I were discussing how we are looking forward to Summer in the Great White North, and what we are planning to do on that day)
I also have no problem with the fact that some of them may feel they have more in common with each other and want to share their similar ideas over coffee, without me being "in" on it, 'cause we ARE still friends (from the "left-wing, commie, pinko fags" to the "right-wing, so-narrow-minded-they-can-look-through-a-keyhole-with-both-eyes-at-the-same-time, red-neck morons"!) Lemmee see....what was I saying about blathering on and on and on and on and.......
PS..Doll? I'm and "innie" (which helps greatly with my lint ball collection)!
I think I see Helen's point, although I don't want to speak for her. I visit this site quite often because I get quite a bit out of it, particularly Phil's posts. I also enjoy the banter back and forth among a group of people who obviously enjoy each others company in cyber-space. Sometimes, though, I almost feel like I'm eavesdropping. This happens, for me, when I'm reading through a thread and posts are addressed to particular members and not everyone in general. Now, that being said...if you go back to just my most recent post... I did exactly the same thing! Talk about the sick being sick...
In early sobriety I wanted desperately to be a part of the group. It was difficult for me, and all newcomers, to break in. I remember riding a bus for an hour to go to a beach party I had been invited to. I went all the way to South Boston, walked to the beach, saw everyone having a blast... and went home with my tail between my legs. My first thoughts: "They don't want me... they don't like me... etc." The reality...They had invited me.
Our acoholic minds love to play games with us. Despite years of step work, tons of meetings, and the best relationships I've ever had I still fall prey to the old "I'm not one of them, they don't want me..." mentality. I've got to work hard to overcome this. Can I? Will I? Maybe... but in the meantime, I've got to remember that members of this group have welcomed me.. sometimes I just let my alcoholism run the show. That's not good, but it is what it is.
Peace all, and have a nice Saturday. I'm on vacation and plan to do a whole lot of nothin'. Mike in Boston
Hey, Mike in Boston! I've been wondering where you are!
Helen, I thank you for your feedback. I think everyone is entitled to their honest perspectives,, and I think yours have validity. I am myself sometimes feeling like I am eavesdropping on someone's private conversation, and like certain people fancy themselves to be more 'in' than others. Toni is right that that is how any group tends to be.
I've been wondering lately why there are now only about 4 or 5 regulars who post and where everyone else is? I guess some people are less active than others, and I wanted them to know that I do consider them as equal members too, and say hello. When I want a personal conversation with someone I do that in private message. But it's all good. Nothing wrong,, just trying to be sensitive to other people's feelings.
I know at face2face meetings, there are a few who tend to say and do a lot,, and a few who sit quietly in the back but are always there, and a few who say something when a topic stimulates them, or they have a special need that day.
I attend and participate because I need to work the program,,,, all of it. When it is pleasant and when it is unpleasant.. when it is for me and when it is for others. Doing the best I can. I figure that's what most of us are doing here too.
Again, thank you, Helen, and good to see you, Mike,,,, and I hope to be seeing posts from a lot more people again,,, just even to let me know you're there,,, and so I can see something besides my own stuff even if it is different from me,, as long as it is not disrespectful attacks.
love in recovery,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
even if it is different from me,, as long as it is not disrespectful attacks.