During today's meeting someone told the group that their sponsor advised them to introduce themselves as: "Hi. I'm _____ , and I'm the problem." I was really hit hard by this because I think for me it was one of the biggest hurdles I had to face in getting sober. When I was drinking, all I did was pick people apart. I criticized EVERYONE. My family, my close friends, my acquaintances, my enemies, my partners, my coworkers, people who rang up my groceries, my peers, tv characters, inanimate objects, insects, life, and even whatever divine power created the universe. I thought everyone had it wrong and I had it right, and if everyone would just listen the me the world would be utopia. At one point I even had the audacity to try writing a book on spirituality - and yet I couldn't get through the day sober. Standing back and looking at that memory, now sober, makes me understand that all along it was me causing the problems in all of my relationships and me that needed to change if I ever wanted to be happier. It was also me wreaking havoc on tons of people in my life with my selfishness. It all makes me feel like anyone with such self-aggrandizing thoughts is bordering on certifiably nuts. Or maybe just an alcoholic. Anyone else hear me on this one? -A
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When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one.-Paul Brunton
Yes this not a new technique for breaking one's denial. Alcohol is the symptom. I had alcoholic behavior way before I took my first drink (lying, stealing, manipulating, obsessing, being hyper critical of others and myself, victimizing myself, ego-mania, trying to be the center of attention, approval seeking........ I was kicked out every school (except one) that I attended and never finished high school because of all of these character defects. All alcohol did was smooth the feelings of shame over that in turn made me feel ok about my behavior. When we get sober, putting the plug in the jug is just the prerequisite for the course, the steps, working with others, and the psychic change that allows us to ask for our higher power's help to rid ourselves of our character defects, while adopting a set of principals to live by, paves the way for the development of our Sober Identity.
