Working on my fourth step. Was wondering if there is anyone who would like to share their trials and tribulations about doing their fourth step. Hearing others might help me with mine.
Thanks - Jeannie
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You only live once; but if you work it right, once is enough. There is nothing better than the encouragement of a good friend.
Hi Jeanie. Well, I don't know how much this will help you, but I kept a notebook and pen handy at all times, I was surprised at when things would "reveal" themselves, then I scribbled it down just like my thought process.....It took well over a month before several days started to go by and I had nothing to scribble down, then I knew it was on to the 5th.... I have another notebook I journal in, pretty much the same way.......pray about it.......Love ya!(((hugs))))
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Jeannie, When I started on my fourth step I did a timeline and as Doll said things were revealed, I would go back and fill in the blanks.I still keep a running time-line of my life...I can go back and examine if something comes up.Of course your sponsor will have ideas on how she wants it done.
I had to keep it simple , that's all I could do at first and it was good enough. I prayed for God to show me what was important and He did.I have always been told there is no wrong way to do a fourth step, just do it.You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I pretty much did the 4th step like they show you in the big book.
I felt and my sponcer felt that doing it that way would be less confusing and less stressful.
I really did not feel many emotions doing the fourth that way because I just wrote the name of the person whom I had a resentment against,why I felt my resentment,and what did it effect like selfesteem, money,sex... then I wrote down my part in it. I kept it all very simple and only wrote a few words as a reminder for my 5th, then I could elaberate more. LOL I saved all my emotions for my 5th.
i work the literature....all the lit i can get my hands on....like i do a "share" on it, and i am surprised at the step 4 stuff i have learned about me..........i am brutally honest by nature, so its not hard for me to get info on me..........it may hurt my heart to see yet another injury/ survival tool i acquired, but at least i know it and "knowing the foe, is combatting the foe"..........
the first time i did step 4, it looked like a world war casualty sheet....but as i worked it more and more, i began to find the good stuff too....the things about me that i like and want to keep..........hope this helps.....rosie
I started by looking at resentments. Work, home, life in general. There was plenty there!
I did the best I could at the time with it. I felt if I let my perfectionism get in the way I would never had done it. Also, I think I can overdramatize things and that would have been an obstacle to me to actually doing it. I didn't want to be someone with 2 or more years sober still talking about doing the 4th step. I needed to do it. So for me it was : keep it simple.
And fortunately I have the 10th Step because things keep coming up and I still need to clean house.
