The self-defined “Victim” uses stealth personal power strategies to cope with anger, to“control” situations and other people in order to punish and to maintain a sense of superiority. Making use of "stealth" behavior provides the self-defined "Victim" a safety net while acting out this negative behavior pattern.



The self-defined “Victim’s” primary mechanism of personal power and control is through the manipulation of the sympathies of others outside or peripheral to the spouse or intimate other.


The self-defined, “Victim” writes his/her own history (along with keeping a now wary protective vigilance toward his/her future power structures by a practiced "marketing" of his/her "mistreatment" and/or "abuse." Support garnered through such projections provide outside support during rejection, separation or divorce potentials and isolates the falsely labeled "Victimizer" in his/her life).


As is common with having been abused as a child, the past-abused child now becomes the adult abuser (within the self-defined "Victim" personality disorder, this adult is a stealth abuser).

The self-defined “Victim” is a thief.

He/she robs the falsely labeled "Victimizer" of his/her reputation and friendships. The self-defined victim in arrogant license (an abuse of liberty) reforms (re-shapes) the relationships of the falsely labeled “Victimizer’s” own family (including that person's relationships with his/her children) and causes the loss of that person’s best interests, i.e., the right to be seen as a person acting out his/her life within his/her personally responsible choices.

The self-defined “Victim” sets out to redesign, re-direct and redefine the now “Victim”-defined “Victimizer’s” life.

The stealth abuser is just as dangerous to those he/she targets as those who openly slander and libel others and of whom the law offically requires an accounting.

Merely because the damaging behavior is insidously acted out and is difficult to present to a court of law as a specific assault against the human rights of an individual real victim, doesn't make the behavior palatable (or shouldn't) to a society interested in justice.

To the hard-core “Victim” --- To “Tweak” is divine!

To be able to activate the sought-after “reaction” can be the trigger for the "rush" within personal power-seeking for the self-defined, “Victim.” This damaged personality finds personal power in PRESSING the button.

When or by the time, the labeled “Victimizer” (labeled this by the “Victim”) becomes aware of the part he/she has been unknowingly activated to play in their life together, it is often too late to repair the damage to his/her reputation or to other important relationships already negatively impacted by his/her relationship with the self-defined, “Victim”

The now defined, “Victimizer” often loses his/her confidence in his/her abilities (if he/she fails to “see” what is taking place). He/she often feels confused, inadequate and puzzled when once he/she may have felt both confidence and adequacy.

It is important to this damaged personality that his/her family and friends come away from each situation feeling sorry for this friend/associate or family member who is such a“sweet person,” yet, who has been so unlucky to have been unfortunate in his/her relationships.


The (falsely labeled) “Victimizer” finds that his/her family is not immune from the talent of the “Victim” personality -- no one is left out of the widening circle of negative influence of the dedicated “Victim” and his/her efforts in maintaining his/her part in the continuing struggle for “Victim” dominance.