Listening and Sharing

"I've found that many of my painful experiences with others are the result of past memories," stated a friend.

"Often I'm not reacting so much to what is going on between me and another person right at the time; I'm responding to some previous wound or hurt from my past that hasn't quite healed. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

"Just the other day, a friend of mine said she needed some time to herself and didn't want to see me for a week. Well, rather than accept her statement, I was hurt. I immediately thought of a past friendship I had helped destroy by being too possessive and demanding. I thought I was making the same mistake again and that my present girl friend was trying to get rid of me, too. I felt so defeated I couldn't respond. I just sat there stunned and tried not to cry.

"My friend was uncomfortable with my change in attitude, but since I wasn't able to communicate what I was feeling, she left feeling at loose ends, too."

"Thank goodness I had enough sense to call her and share my unsettling feelings a day or two after that experience. I found my friend wasn't rejecting me at all. She really did need some time to herself."

Today I will not allow past, painful memories to cripple my current relationships. When I am hurt or confused, I will talk out my feelings and reactions before I make harsh criticisms or assume another's motives.