I don't know if there is a heaven I only know that if there is you are there. I have always had my God issues and you always believed in him unconditionally. I wish I had your faith, I am envious of your faith. I see so much suffering and unhappiness and I have a hard time believing in a God that would let his children suffer. I really feel he is not doing his job with the human race so I have my God issues.
Now that I am attending AA meetings and will start working the 12 steps I need to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Mom you will have to be my higher power for now because I believe in you.
I think in some ways the reason I am dealing with what is going on in my life is because you need me to right my wrongs now before it's too late. You are my cheerleader in heaven hoping I will make it there to be with you.
I am trying and struggling to face my problems but it is very hard to change things that you have been doing your entire life. So I am praying to you and if there is a God I will find him because of you. So Mom please put a good word in for me and I think that I can survive the hell that I am in now and with strength and grace I can make it to heaven some day to see you and make your proud.
Great prayer Marie, ... It is a good start ... and as far as God letting His children suffer, that is humanity doing that to humanity, not God ... God gave us all the 'freedom' to chose our own path, the path we chose is cause for our suffering in most cases ... where there is suffering otherwise through no fault of the person involved, that's usually caused by many other reasons or causes, not God ... and if you think about it, it is only through suffering that we can come to know spiritual progress ... we learn faith, hope, and love in this instance ...
Okay, my train of thought just went 'bye-bye' ... maybe it'll return ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Marie,
I am sorry for your loss and what a beautiful prayer to your mom and I hope that it provided you with some comfort by writing it. I too had "God issues" and blamed him for things which happened in my life and losses of loved ones. I did this for years of my life. I am trying to work through that and think along the lines Pappy mentioned above. My faith is being restored and I am beginning to feel more at peace. This didn't happen until after I had been sober for a little while and I am still a "newcomer" and am hopeful that my faith in God will be stronger the longer I maintain sobriety and as I work the steps.
Congratulations on staying sober and wanting a better life for yourself. I feel like your mom is smiling down from Heaven knowing that you are doing just that.
Hello Marie, I loved reading your prayer to your mother, and I firmly believe that she can hear you and prays for you. You say that you have trouble understanding why there is so much evil in the world? Here's basically how I've come to understand it for myself and make peace with it. When God created humankind, He gave us freewill. He gave us freewill because He loves us so much that He wants to allow us to make our own choices. He gives us the freedom to choose to do good things, and the freedom to choose to do bad things. God is no dictator. Without the potential for a person to do evil, there can be no freewill. Without freewill, we wouldn't be human. Blessings to you always, Mike D.
-- Edited by Mike D on Tuesday 29th of October 2013 09:21:15 PM
((((Marie))))...I love the prayer cause in my culture we know of the spirits of others who have gone before us. We also know of a God that proceeds organized religion so I can understand you having issues with a power greater than yourself. For me I didn't have that much of a struggle because when I looked back at how my life evolved under my own management I knew that pretty much there were powers greater than myself who could and would do much better with it when I surrendered completely and then just "acted as if" on a daily basis. Since then I have had events in my life which have been so positive for my life which came only as a result of believing. I didn't get what I wanted...I got what I needed and still do. If one of your gifts was your mom? ask her to tell HP thanks. Keep your eyes and ears open...miracles happen that way. ((((hugs)))) keep coming back .
