Having a rough day today. No drinking, but have thought about it.....a lot. My baby turned 4 today and its rough being away from him and my children. Just don't know what to do right now........
Hi Standing Tall...I know it is bound to be rough on you being away from your children. Like I shared before, I cannot be with my daughter and it tears at my heart. I used that as a reason to drink for several years. Tried to numb out the pain. After the booze was gone, I still wasn't with my daughter. Drinking didn't change a thing about that her wanting to see me, only made things worse. I had to separate the personal problems in my life from the drinking and figure out more effective ways to deal with them other than poisoning my body with that trash. Things will get better for you. I am sure your daughter as well as your other children would much rather have their daddy around for a long time than for you to drink and risk dying at a younger age. I hope you can get to a meeting. I have had to force myself to attend them when all I felt like I wanted to do was stay here and drink. Once I did go, I felt so much better. Also, I hope you continue to come on this board. I know there is a post by GoingtoTry. It is on the 3rd page of the postings and near the top of that page. A very interesting post, and I hope that you check it out. You are doing great and I hope you continue to stay sober. It is when you can get through times like this without drinking that will make you feel so much better and more in control of your life. Oh, I just thought of something else....can you call your daughter? Sing her "Happy Birthday" on the phone? Send her balloons? Perhaps take a video of yourself telling her how much you love and miss her and how much she means to you? I would think just by planning something like that for her and making it about her special day will not only be meaningful for her, but brighten up your day, as well.
((((hugs))))))
I know one thing that worked for me....Two small prayers....God make me willing...and...Thy will not mine be done.
I'd say them all day if I had to...That gave me the help I needed...You are so close...
It's as simple as this.
There is a solution.
Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
I do know that step you are on I needed help from my sponsor...If not done right we can do more damage than good....It's right in the step. There might be a fear of that. Why not give your sponsor a call and talk...Or set up a meeting with him. It can't hurt.
Hey - thanks for posting. It reminds me what this disease does. I hope you will do what is suggested in the big book so you can get the promises in your life. The promises ALWAYS materialize if we work for them. Not sometimes or just for those with money or good looks or good luck. Have you read the promises lately? That kept me a float for a while when things were a mess. I think you've got a good thing going here. Don't throw yourself in the trash over anything no matter what and things will get better if you stay the course. Best wishes : )
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Thanks for everything. Peace and Love on your journey.
Hi Standing Tall...I know it is bound to be rough on you being away from your children. Like I shared before, I cannot be with my daughter and it tears at my heart. I used that as a reason to drink for several years. Tried to numb out the pain. After the booze was gone, I still wasn't with my daughter. Drinking didn't change a thing about that her wanting to see me, only made things worse. I had to separate the personal problems in my life from the drinking and figure out more effective ways to deal with them other than poisoning my body with that trash. Things will get better for you. I am sure your daughter as well as your other children would much rather have their daddy around for a long time than for you to drink and risk dying at a younger age. I hope you can get to a meeting. I have had to force myself to attend them when all I felt like I wanted to do was stay here and drink. Once I did go, I felt so much better. Also, I hope you continue to come on this board. I know there is a post by GoingtoTry. It is on the 3rd page of the postings and near the top of that page. A very interesting post, and I hope that you check it out. You are doing great and I hope you continue to stay sober. It is when you can get through times like this without drinking that will make you feel so much better and more in control of your life. Oh, I just thought of something else....can you call your daughter? Sing her "Happy Birthday" on the phone? Send her balloons? Perhaps take a video of yourself telling her how much you love and miss her and how much she means to you? I would think just by planning something like that for her and making it about her special day will not only be meaningful for her, but brighten up your day, as well. ((((hugs))))))
Yes, I have already called. Spoke to him for about 15 minutes. its just tough when I get on the phone with him and he is crying to see his Daddy. God, that sucks!! I won't drink today, but just for today. I have no idea what tomorrow holds....................that is up to my God.
Yes, I have already called. Spoke to him for about 15 minutes. its just tough when I get on the phone with him and he is crying to see his Daddy. God, that sucks!! I won't drink today, but just for today. I have no idea what tomorrow holds....................that is up to my God.
That's the only thing that got me through times like that ST ... I thought, I can go 'TODAY' without a drink ... tomorrow ??? ... we'll see ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Oh, ... great posts Stepman and BTY52 and Tash and Bob, ... ... ... try to hear what's being shared ST ... patience, the promises DO come true if we work for them ... like Tasha said ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
"Just for today" that is all any of us can do. I certainly have had my down times since being sober and keep going to meetings, coming here, praying. I heard an oldtimer say at a meeting that he didn't have any more time than a newcomer because all he had was "today".
Hey ST...Just checking in on you...Have you spoken with your sponsor about moving forward with steps 8 and 9?...It's not good for an alcoholic to remain stuck...We tend to think too much....And our thinking is what got us here in the first place. It's about ACTION.
This is how they start the directions for steps 8 and 9....
Now we need more action, without which we find that "Faith without works is dead." Let's look at Steps Eight and Nine.....
BB Pg 76
-- Edited by Stepchild on Friday 25th of October 2013 05:24:54 AM
Been burning up the phone with my sponsor. He is a good guy. Just really struggling but staying on course.....
You da man!....They tell us...None of us liked it...But it is required...You'll notice that is why those promises are where they are in the book.
Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
BB pg 25
I never dreamed I could have the life I have now...Living happily without alcohol?...That was beyond my dreams. Good job ST...
-- Edited by Stepchild on Friday 25th of October 2013 08:51:56 AM
I hear you ST. It's like we're caught between two worlds, the past and the future. You're not the person you used to be, hence our past, and you haven't quite developed into the person you're going to be, hence the future, so you're caught somewhere in between. But the middle ground is where we begin. It's like were passing through a long hallway with no end in site. But there is, we just haven't got there yet -or as the saying goes: "The very thing were looking for is something we can't see". I hope it has a happy ending just for you.
Hey ST...Just checking in on you...Have you spoken with your sponsor about moving forward with steps 8 and 9?...It's not good for an alcoholic to remain stuck...We tend to think too much....And our thinking is what got us here in the first place. It's about ACTION.
This is how they start the directions for steps 8 and 9....
Now we need more action, without which we find that "Faith without works is dead." Let's look at Steps Eight and Nine.....
BB Pg 76
-- Edited by Stepchild on Friday 25th of October 2013 05:24:54 AM
Been burning up the phone with my sponsor. He is a good guy. Just really struggling but staying on course.....
I hear you ST. It's like we're caught between two worlds, the past and the future. You're not the person you used to be, hence our past, and you haven't quite developed into the person you're going to be, hence the future, so you're caught somewhere in between. But the middle ground is where we begin. It's like were passing through a long hallway with no end in site. But there is, we just haven't got there yet -or as the saying goes: "The very thing were looking for is something we can't see". I hope it has a happy ending just for you.
Thanks for posting this, Mr. David....I have been a bit confused about myself lately.....not like I was when I was drunk, and feeling a lot better physically, but still have days when I feel not so good mentally and physically. I am grateful for being sober another day, and glad for some the changes, but at the same time abhor things about me I haven't been able to change either because of stubbornness or plain just not knowing how to. And I am in anticipation of what is to come once I work the steps, after hearing AA members and you posters (I guess a lot of you are AA members) tell me how much you have changed. I want "what you have." I guess I could have saved a lot of words by just saying "I don't really know who the heck I am right now."
I hear you ST. It's like we're caught between two worlds, the past and the future. You're not the person you used to be, hence our past, and you haven't quite developed into the person you're going to be, hence the future, so you're caught somewhere in between. But the middle ground is where we begin. It's like were passing through a long hallway with no end in site. But there is, we just haven't got there yet -or as the saying goes: "The very thing were looking for is something we can't see". I hope it has a happy ending just for you.
Thanks for posting this, Mr. David....I have been a bit confused about myself lately.....not like I was when I was drunk, and feeling a lot better physically, but still have days when I feel not so good mentally and physically. I am grateful for being sober another day, and glad for some the changes, but at the same time abhor things about me I haven't been able to change either because of stubbornness or plain just not knowing how to. And I am in anticipation of what is to come once I work the steps, after hearing AA members and you posters (I guess a lot of you are AA members) tell me how much you have changed. I want "what you have." I guess I could have saved a lot of words by just saying "I don't really know who the heck I am right now."
Hi BTY, ... When we have completed working the 12 step program of AA, we walk away a totally different person than when we started at step 1 ... ... ... until we get to step 12, we are 'somewhere in between', as Mr David stated ... working the steps is a 'transformation' process ... by doing so, we get rid of our 'old' way of thinking and learn a new way to think ...
And the statement Mr David made about what we're looking for and not able to see? ... to me that is 'faith' ... I learned to have faith in a HP that I never knew before ... it's rather amazing when you think about it ... if we work the program through, we find many different changes in ourselves that can take us by surprize ... recall the words on page 85 of the BB ??? ... "We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutralitysafe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed."
by the time you get to step 12, you have had a spiritual awakening ... you have learned new things about yourself and you are leading a new and different way of life than when you got here ... and it's wondrous to witness this in others from the start ... keep doing the things we suggest you do, and you'll definitely get what we got ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I simply love to hear the 9th step promises at the end of our meetings here ...
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them."
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
