We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21
When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory - victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
I thank God that I finally surrendered my very strong will to God, and today I am sober, serene (most of the time) and at peace about who I am today. At the Step study last night we read Step 1 from the 12 and 12. When it was time for comments, the only thing I could talk about was the serenity and peace, I looked at all those macho men at the table...one young man sat there with bleeding knuckles because he had just hit his alcoholic father before he came to the meeting, one had a rough day at work, left there mad, was on his way to get drunk, but stopped at the meeting before hand. I pray he didn't get drunk.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Stinkin' thinking leads me to trouble everytime. If I can stay calm , then I can do the next right thing, and that always leads me to staying sober and acting sober.
