Welcome to the board, glad you have found us. If you go to the MIP Homepage you will find a link to the Al-anon board, this is for the family and friends of Alcoholics. In AA they say that only the person with the drinking problem can decide whether they are an alcoholic or not.Have you gone to an Al-anon meeting in your area, please look into the board and meetings, you will find hope there. Have you suggested AA to your wife?

Keep coming here,keep posting.What you said about violence worries me, been there done that. What I learned in Al-anon because my husband is an Alcoholic also, was to walk away. To remove myself from the alcoholic, if need be, go to another bedroom to sleep, if I didn't want to sleep in the bed with the puke covered person, leave that person where ever they passed out, on the floor, I left mine passed out on the front porch a few times. Once he drug me in the house, when I didn't want to go in when I was drunk, I was very bruised and battered after that incident, I wish he would have left me in the car. Well, actually that was the morning I got up and got on my knees and surrendered my will to God, and haven't had a drink since, that was over 20 years ago.But I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, I wanted something different. My husband is still a practicing alcoholic, who is in a state re-hab program for felony DUI.

You did not cause it, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it.

Please check out the Al-anon site.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

-- Edited by GammyRose at 08:18, 2006-01-01

hi, wow.. I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds simple on the surface, but there is a lot more to it, isn't there?  Being an ex-pat is not easy. Are there even any AA or alanon groups there? There might not be.  Do you and your wife have friends and a support network that you can each confide in, trust, and be with?  I was married to a man in the Dominican Republic for some years. Sometimes the 'D' word is a necessary word and thing. Sometimes love is letting go. But we here on this board don't know. Not only is the alcoholic the only one who has to admit the problem,,  but the friends and families have their own admissions that only they can make. Admitting the realities is the first step in dealing with them. Oh, and these questions are for you to think about; you don't have to tell us.

I'm glad you reached out and came here, and I do hope that you visit the alanon board also, there is almost always someone in that meeting room too, and meetings are daily. We have the Step Work Board too, everyone would do well to visit that and participate.

God bless you,

amanda

Hi Gudheart,

Been to Thailand 5 times in the past 7 years. They have a rather nascent AA established there with meetings you'll find here.

( http://www.aathailand.org/ )

There was a Thai speaking meeting at Holy Redeemer in BKK but I'm not sure if it's still going. There were a few Thai folks attending some of the BKK meetings and a couple at the meeting in Chiang Mai (McCormick Hospital) a few years ago. Don't know if they're still there or not. In any case, there are plenty of Thai's who are suffering from alcoholism and would benefit from AA. I realize there are some cultural barriers that I hope can be overcome (like the reluctance to talk openly about ones problems and the "saving face" thing). But I think if we could find a Thai AA to speak with your wife it might be a great help.

My partner of 17 years is from Cambodia and we usually swing into Thailand this time of year then head for Battambang where his family is from. Alcoholism in Cambodia is a whole other story with quite a few tales of terror I could tell. I think in Thailand they're beginning to recognize it as an illness, albeit rather slowly.

I wish you and your wife and family the best. If you'd like to keep in touch I can perhaps give you a contact there in Thailand.

Hey, thanks alot  for your input, support and good wishes.  i have tried to make some contact locally and it seems that there is a meeting schedule in my, but aa only.  should i address my situation to alanon?? i get a little confused.   alanon is the arm of aa that deals with spouses??

things have cooled down for the time being, but i know that IT will rear it's ugly head again at some point and a lot of harsh words were passed between us that are hard to forget, leaving some scars that may never heal. 

hanuman, you being married to a cambodian seem to have some insite to the cultural barriers that i am facing and i will pm you if i can figure it out. 

and doll's analogy is right on.

and don't worry about the violence thing as it was mostly restraint that was necessary.  i've never hit a woman in my life.  mostly i have been the victim of the violence from my women in life.

thanks again,