just want to tell you, some of these posts, and esspecially your Post this a.m. Doll. Was remembering your share all day, thinking about how my background was so similar. anyway it threw me back to when I first got sober, I was thinking of those first few months in Recovery, the ones that stuck, I was living in Seattle, 15 years ago, and there was a lot "California bashing" going on. I can still remember just driving down the street, at a stop sign, someone rolls down his window and says, Get you plates (California) off your car, lady!! Then he laughed.
The whole thing was so friggen stupid. Anyway, my point, was that I lived there for my first year of Recovery, And went to a meeting everyday. Some of that attitude could be felt in those AA rooms, Very subtle, but there.
I can remember how I use to think to myself, I am in these rooms for one reason, and others opinions, didn't mean anything to me. I was sitting in those rooms, only FOR ONE REASON, I did not want to drink that day, and it was my insurance policy,sort of that maybe I could stay sober, the next day, if I went to another 6:00 meeting.
I'm telling you this story, because it Made a Big Light Bulb Lite Up today. I have been kind of whinning about not being real comfortable in meetings, in this new area I moved to.
I think I finally got it. I was uncomfortable BECAUSE I had forgotten my primary Reason for going to AA Meetings - only one goal - I do not want to drink- today.
When you put some time together in AA, it can be just as scarry as when you first walked in the doors of AA. (Something like, the further you get away from Alcohol, the Closer you get to it) "If we forget our past, we are DOOMED to repeat it"
One of the members in MIPs was talking about having 15 years, and having a slip, that REALLY got my ATTENTION. And by the Grace of God she got back right away.
I do not believe I would have another Recovery in me, if I slipped, it is a fear, but a good healthy FEAR, with my History.
God Bless,
and I know, don't say it, I am pretty wordy!!!!!!!!!!!
